Spinning Out Of Control

This entry is a bit different for me.....actually....really different.  It stemmed from a friends conversations.......


Spinning Out Of Control........

The called her a crack whore. They new that all they had to do was to give her a call, or flag her down from the street, and she was theirs.

She wasn't one with an addictive behavior, at least not for drugs or booze. Her addiction was the need to be with a strong man, one that would make her laugh, that would make her feel like she was worth something. In all her beauty and sweetness of spirit, she felt the need for something more.

She wasn't living on the streets, but she was drawn to them. Her will power and moral judgement was thrown out the window as she longed to fill the emptiness in her soul.

She would continue to say no to her desires, but they always popped up at her weakest moments. After a cocktail or two with friends, she headed back to, that part of town, knowing she shouldn't, but longing to feel something that wasn't there.

She always tried to keep a level head about money, not over spend on her desires, not give in completely to the high and the lust, but she was rarely successful.

She was a lady of reputation and class. To the world around her, she was the blessed one. One who could succeed at anything. But her secret side, always led her to the streets, searching for her worth, but only finding a brief moment of satisfaction.

Her desires stopped for a while as she met a good man, one who loved her, took care of her, was there for her in every way....except for the intimacy that she craved for. It didn't take long for the dark desires to overtake her once more.

She cried out to God for hope and help, longing to give up her addiction. But with one breath came a prayer, and with the next, came the desire.

We talked about her relationship with God, about letting Him deeper into her life. Her head and her heart knew the answers, but she couldn't get her desires out of her mind. Every day she would wake up, thinking, today is the day. No more will she give in to her desires, no more will she waste the money knowing it's price would still leave her empty.

She struggled.....and struggles, so tired of her life, only seeing the defeat, the dishonesty, the cheating. She knows God is the answer, but her struggles continue. She prays that it doesn't take her to the bottom of the barrel before she finally sees the light. She knows she's a good person and can offer so much, if she can only let go....let God....let Love find it's way into her heart.......

So we lift her up in prayer, we ask God to give her strength, and hope, and a new feeling of worth. We pray for that new life for her....free....happy......and loved......

As her Journey Continues.......