Searching For Silence

We sit quietly.....
Listening for the silence.....
We search for that quiet place....
A place where the clutter of the world around us stops....
We long for a switch to turn off the noise.....

But the noise continues.....
The mind won't stop speeding from thought to thought....
Memories from the past and present continue running a muck, without any sign of stopping.....
We long to sit quietly and hear the silence....
We long to feel the embrace of warmth and solitude.....

Some search for their inner peace through mantras and meditation....
Some find their peace in prayer with their maker.....
Some try and try and never get to that the soothing place.....
Some just want it to stop....
Some long for that switch to turn off the noise.....

We just want to find some peace in the world.....
We want to find the silence....
We long to sit quietly in the shadows.....
We long to feel the release.....
We long for the serenity.....

But the world around us can be a formidable place....
Our troubles can be a turbulent plot......
Our road can be filled with thorns.....
Our mind works and works and works....
We long for that switch to turn off the noise.....

So we sit....
We wait....
We try to let go....
We try not to try.....
We search for the silence.....

People Got To Be Free

I've been visiting several profile pages lately and for some reason, a song from my past keeps popping into my head.

All the world over, so easy to see
People everywhere just wanna be free
Listen, please listen, that's the way it should be
Deep in the valley, people got to be free

I first heard this song years ago in a high school assembly, when a traveling Pop/Christian group came and sang for us.  It was supposed to be a pop culture assembly but the lead singer had a moment of sharing a message of inspiration and prayer, and then went into a rendition of this song, "People Got To Be Free" by the Rascals. I remember the principle at the time, getting a bit ticked, because of the spiritual aspect.

We see so many factions of life on the internet. Whether they are rich, poor or in between, whether they are red, yellow, black or white, whether they are Christian, Muslim, Atheist or other, whether they are gay, straight, married, single, living with each other or living alone.......they all want Freedom. We search for Freedom in a lot of different places but we all want the Freedom to be Me.


We want to be who we are, what we are, what we're not, what we want to be. Sometimes the world says no, our upbringing says no, our culture and environment says no, other peoples agenda says no, but we still want the freedom to live our life, our way.

Sometimes I think our search for Freedom is really a search for our place in this world, our feeling of self worth, our purpose. Sometimes our search is a way to tear down the barriers, the limitations, the prejudice of others. Sometimes we just want the world to be fair, to be just and kind.  But there will always be those who criticize, who tell us there is no place in school for prayer, who let their own grasp for wealth and power set guidelines that help them and not us. There well always be our circumstances and environment dictating how we live.

We are taught...........The Truth Shall Set You Free......

Some find their way in knowing that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and we find our Freedom in Him. Others search their entire lives for that Freedom.


So what am I trying to say.......
We all Live and Yearn and Hope for the Freedom to get the most out of Life......Our Life. Sometimes we look in the right places and sometimes in all the wrong places, but we continue to search. Sometimes we just have to look at The Truth For What It Is..........

And Just........ Live Life

and the Journey Continues.......

The Journey of Life.....

Life......

A balancing act, a process, a series of events, moments of action and reaction.......

Fulfillment, hope, acceptance, questions, answers.....

So many concepts that we use to describe our existence.

We tend to see the world as the glass, half full or half empty.

Some find their place in the world, a comfortable place, filled with love, joy,contentment, purpose. Sure the world throws it stones but they have the ability to let them ricochet off like stones skipped across a pond. Life for them is a good thing, a joyful time with friends and family, a time to fill their days with activities that surround and include everyone they love. They see the world as a place of wonder, living each day, each moment as a gift from God.

Some see the corruption, the immorality, the greed for power and money, the dying and the tired. They have to muster up all their strength, just to smile, to make it through the day. Life for them is a search, a quest, a question....is this all there is, is this all I am, is there something more. They search years for the TRUTH about life, never feeling comfortable in their own skin, their own set of circumstances, their own life. They feel there is a way out but can't seem to find it. They see the green grass over a tall, forbidding fence and know there is a better life waiting for them. They just don't know how to get there. They try to smooth out the edges between good and evil.  They try to let go of anger and find joy. They long for hope, for purpose, for fulfillment, but they leave empty handed, only finding darkness and pain and a sadness that consumes. They believe in God and His power to overcome all obstacles, but continue to ask why, how, when. They have faith but sometimes faith doesn't seem to be enough.

The Journey of life is filled with so much wonder and so much pain.  Finding that balance between the two is is a life long adventure. We search the world for answers, we look deep in our hearts, we look at our decisions, we look at providence.........We Balance........

But to really live this life.....sometimes we have to let go of that balance, we have to step out of the box. We have to let go of what is comfortable and nonthreatening and take a chance. We have to make an effort to change the direction of our lives. We have to let go of the complacency. We have to LIVE.....

The road of life will always have its bumps, it thorns, it questions, but we have to look past those obstacles and see the good.  We have to find hope and purpose, find joy, find peace, find LIFE. We have to make changes, in a world that seems to only change for the worse. We have to shine, in a world filled with darkness. We have to love, in a world full of hate and anger. We have to give, in a world that only takes.

We have to let go, of all the wrong and do our part to make it right.......We Have To Live.

The Journey of Life is no picnic, but we can choose to look at the flowers, instead of the ants. There's nothing easy about it, and being human, we will continue to have our struggles and flaws.  We can judge or praise, we can say a kind word instead of shouting with anger, we can compliment instead of criticize. We struggle and we fall, but we Can Get Back Up and Try Again. We can look deep in our Hearts and see what lives there....We Can Change. Is it easy?.....NO.....but then it wouldn't be called LIFE.

Words on a paper can't change our Journey of Life, can't change who we are, can't change our outlook on this world. They can't make us Find the Joy of Living.........but.....

WE CAN......

My God and I walk through the Fields Together......

WE CAN.....

We need to Live....We need to Love....We need to Laugh....We need to Dance

We need to Live the Life we wish the World Would Be.......

and the Journey Continues......

Understanding Me

In a conversation with a therapist friend of mine, I was enlightened to the magnitude that our past childhood experiences, mentors, expectations, rewards and disappointments, play in our present day life. As we discussed my lack of patience at times in dealing with reckless drivers, slow check out lines and my jumping to first impressions of people before I take a moment to think through the situation, I was asked why.....

Hmmmmmm......uhhhhhh....it's the Virgo in me......or....um.....one of those traits I inherited from one of my parents.  But as we talked, I realized those easy answers didn't come close.

Our experiences growing up, where we were criticized, rewarded, punished, praised, put on a pedestal as well as being kicked off.....all have a way of wiring our brains to a certain mindset, a certain outlook on life, a certain way we judge and react.

If we really want to find some answers, we have to look deeper into why the anger screams when someone does something that annoys us.
As I look deeper, I see a life where I was placed on and off of the pedestal way too many times. My childhood was based on my accomplishments, my victories, my awards as well as my failures, my disappointment to others, my not being perfect.....All The Time.


So my perfectionism comes from a process of having to be always great, always having the answers, always being the one to take charge when no one else would or could......not from being a Virgo.......

My anger and irritation of others comes from the expectations set on me, turned around and expected of others, when I feel they don't measure up.....to my standards......Hmmmmmmm.......

So to solve the problem, we have to take a deep, painful look into the old and shattered crevices of our mind, heart and soul, and begin the process of rewiring our brains, letting go of the past notions, hurts, expectations, and learn to live our lives in a new light.  We need to realize that no one has the power over us to dictate how we live.....except God, no one has the right to push their attitudes on us simply because they think they are always right, no one has the right to take our joy of living and turn it into a life of disappointment's.....including us..........

 As the old song says.....

"My God and I  walk  in  the  fields  together 

We  walk  and talk  as good  friends should and do 

We clasp our  hands,  our  voices  ring with laughter   

My God and I walk  through the  meadow's  hue." 

As our Strength comes from the Time we spend with God, the challenge ahead can still be a long uphill battle for us all. But given time, and diligence......there is Light at the End of the Tunnel......and Joy Does Come In The Morning...


and the Journey Continues.......

Dear God........We Are Not As Strong......

Dear God, Too....

OK God,

When we talked earlier, I can see I was talking from my mind, not my heart.....

My heart hurts Lord, it cries in pain, it feels lost and alone at times.  When troubles hit me, I stand up with a wall around me, making my stand, but dying inside.  I get so tired of it all.  I look for answers and there seems to be just emptiness.

When I look at the world, so much tragedy, so much sadness, so much grief, so much wrong, I want to cry out and say, why is this happening, why can't things work out, why can't we get along, why is this world turning into such a wretched place.

My Heart Hurts God........

But it's in those times of pain, of anger, of despair, I sit quietly and listen. I see the only place to turn, is to You Lord.  I know, my humanity, and it's limitations, can only do so much.  I see, sometimes, there are no answers to the why's.....just more questions.....

So I sit quietly and listen.  I try to turn off the noise of the world and all its troubles and just, sit, and listen to you.......

Forgive me for being weak, forgive me for my self pity, forgive me for forgetting to keep my eyes on you.
Help me to find that Joy in You Lord and know, that's where my strength comes from. Help me to look for the Good in Others, with the Help of Your Love and Grace......

Help Me Be The Man You Planned and Designed Me To Be.........

Help Me To Be.......

Dear God.....

Dear God,

I know we talk often, usually when I'm in need, or stressed, or hurting.  But now I come to Praise You God....with a few questions as well.

As I look back at my life, I see how You've Blessed me in so many ways.  You gave me a bit of good looks, some personality, some unique talents, and a life that took me from a simple, small town life, to where I am today. I know sometimes, I forget to really take that look and see just how much You have Blessed me.  Sometimes, I've taken it for granted.  Sometimes, I've been a bit prideful as well.  But it's the life You Gave Me and I Praise You for that..  I just ask for your help in showing me how I can give my life back to You, every moment, every day, in every situation that this life brings.

Now, maybe some questions......

Life is hard God, sometimes, really hard.  I see the struggles in my own life, and sometimes, just have to ask why.  But You remind me, You're with me, every moment, through every trial and struggle, and as I keep my eyes on You, I can find that strength, that hope, that peace to make it through.  And again I have to say, Thank You God.

I see so much anger, hatred, death and tragedy in the world and again ask why.  Why are so many killed in times of war? Why are so many killed with that stray bullet or that car going the wrong way. Why do so many wake up one morning, never expecting to loose their life through a deadly storm. Why to some choose to kill, without any remorse, in the name of their god. There are so many why's that seem left unanswered, so much pain, so much loss.

I understand, we may never know the answers to those questions while on this earth. But, I also see You reaching out, every moment, in every situation, in every death and tragedy.  Reaching out with Love, with Hope, with Peace That Passes All Understanding, with a Warm Hug of a Father to His Child. And even though the Pain is So Real, You are always there to give us the Strength to carry on. You say, You will never give us more than we can handle....and...sometimes, I've questioned that. Sometimes, the pain is just too much.  But I know that through that pain, You guide us, make us stronger, mold us, and remind us, that You are always there, no matter what. You remind us to rely on You, reach out with our faith to You, know that the answers will come and that Your Joy is our Strength.

You know I'm human God, and so many times, my doubts, my fears, my struggles, as well as my pride and my own self, get in the way of Your Will, Your Purpose, and Your Plan in my life.  I ask for Your Forgiveness and for Your Strength,  for Your Wisdom and Guidance. I ask that You continue to mold me into the Man You made me to be, the Man You can shine Your Light Through, the Man who can help make this world a better place.........

Thank You God.
I Give You The Praise In All Things

Your Loving Son,
Wynn