Slow Down Life

I made the comment the other day....Slow Down Life.....this is supposed to be the Scenic Route, not the Express.......

Yep, it was on of those days when my mind and body were racing as fast as they could until they finally gave out. As I thought about that comment, it made me stop and think. Life is not speeding on the express train to no where. I AM.....

We are in control of life, to a certain extent.  We choose how we spend our days and what we do with our time. The time wasted.......that's on us.....not life. We've let our minds run a muck for so long, we've forgotten how to focus. Our minds have been so wired for speed, we've forgotten how to.....JUST STOP......and SAVOR THE MOMENT.


We've put our lives on the express train for so long, we can't seem to find our way back to the Scenic Route.

The first few years I lived in Nashville, I loved playing tourist, whether it was a walk downtown, or sitting by the Parthenon, or enjoying the sound of the waterfalls at Opryland Hotel. Even though I saw the same things over and over, the experiences and the people were always different and unique.

The last few years of dealing with family issues and the wear and tear on my body, seems to have changed my perspective, my attitude toward life, my enjoyment for the simple things. It's as though I need to shake off the layers of dust, just to remember who I am and what simple joy is.

It's my choice to stop the express, take a moment or two, or three, for me. I've got to remember, if I died today, the world would continue turning. The problems of the world that seem to weigh so heavy on my shoulders would be solved with out my need to fix them.  Life would go on.

It's always been easier for me to give advice, then take it, especially my own, as well as the advice of some very wise friends. But today, I need to let that wisdom sink into my heart and my soul, not just my head.

I need to recapture that feeling of being a tourist, not just in Nashville, but a TOURIST OF LIFE. I need to quit blaming....LIFE.... for the speed on this journey. It's time, once again, to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again, in a more simpler and enjoyable way.  Will I succeed, only time will tell, but it's time to live with no regrets, no looking back, no what ifs......and just...... LIVE.............


and the Journey Continues.....

The New Civil War

Two sides opposing each other
Full of conviction, passion, anger, even hatred
Families are split apart and neighbors and coworkers divided
A division that hasn't been this bad since America fought within itself decades ago

The New Civil War

You would think in our day and time, we could try to agree, we could make an effort to get a long
But the division runs too deep
There doesn't seem to be any hope of working things out
Love has become hatred, compliments have become criticism
Hearts and minds have been closed off from any view but their own

And yes, there are causalities
Maybe not in a body count, but in a country dying from the inside out.
The leaders have become granite statues
Solid, unmovable, heartless
No longer possessing the qualities of humanity
And because of their action and sometimes inaction
They've turned a country against itself


They take one or two words of the opposing side
Twist it, discolor it, making it a giant black banner for their cause
They crusade for the welfare of their country
While blaming the others for what is wrong
Building barriers that block any reconciliation

They cry for the needs of the people
But spend millions and millions and millions
To spread the lies, the half truths
Never realizing how they could use those millions to solve the woes of our country
The blame falls on both sides, in every rank
From civilians, to general, to leaders and want to be leaders
From the powerful, the wealthy and the weak

The elected are there to bring a balance
But they continue to tip the scales in their quest for power and greed
They feed hatred into the hearts of their followers
They ignite the fires of discord
All in the name of democracy

They lift their mascots to the sky
Donkeys and Elephants with pride
But so fitting, as the Donkey is Stubborn
And the Elephant's size allows it to barrel through any barriers that stand in the way

Where is the peace
Where is the compromise
Where is the brotherly love
When will we learn that hatred brings division
When will we learn that we are better than this
When will we see that the division makes us weak
When will it no longer be your side, or my side
But our side

Sometimes I feel there is no longer hope for America
Until this Civil War comes to an end
And sadly, the end seems so far away
As long as both sides of our elected leaders and leaders to come
Continue to divide, to spew their lies and half lies
Continue to widen the gap in their quest for power, for greed
Continue to let their arrogance make decisions for what is right for the people

Our New Civil War will continue to destroy our country
Continue......and Continue.......and Continue...............

A Caretaker's Saga

At an early age, one sees the anguish in the world. The pain of loved ones, the uncomfortable circumstances, the codependency and troubles of others. One tries to compensate, sometimes with laughter, other times with silence, trying to make the awkward situation more comfortable, the tension in the room less threatening. 

The emotions are turned off and the Caretaker begins a roll that starts much to early in life with more responsibility then one should have to endure so young.

The pattern begins. Now the life of me and my has been replaced with them and they. The needs of others takes center stage in life. The world revolves around others joy, others happiness, others help and understanding and the individuality of the Caretaker, disappears into the darkness.  Without realizing the pattern has taken shape, it's roots grow deep into the heart, the mind and the soul. 

They began to pick up the pieces of others shattered lives. They carry the weight of the needy on their shoulders. They loose the love, the joy, the peace of mind that they deserve, and long for a purpose in life that has more substance, more meaning, that brings back the me and the my.

The pattern continues with each turn in the road, each acquaintance, each special someone. They unwittingly seem to accept that this is their lot in life, not willingly, but just wanting to keep the peace, calm the anger, not hurt the ones that they seem to love so much. They continue to disappear into the darkness, looking for the light of their own existence, wondering why they've forgotten what joy is, what a smile feels like without worrying about the smile of others.

The Saga will continue on....and on.....and on............and on.....unless, they take a deeper look, they cry out a little louder. 

The longing in their hearts has to rise above the needy, the codependent, the others.

It has to shout....This Is My Life......Not Yours

It has to shout.....This Is The Only Life I Have....My Chance To Live For Me....To Find My Happiness and My Joy......

It has to want a Chance To Live Guilt Free.....Worry Free.....

and let go of the responsibility and burden of those who have taken so much of that life. 

They have to let others live their own life, make their own mistakes, solve their own problems and if need be, drown in their own struggles and sorrows....... 

The Saga of a Caretaker has a high price on life with little reward...... until.....

They Choose.......THEY CHOOSE to start living....start stretching their horizons.

There will always be a need to want to help because the Caretaker has a kind heart, a loving soul....

But.....

To really live life......

They have to take the first step and the next....and the next..... to find that beautiful and fulfilling happiness and joy......and meaning........and Life........ 

and the Journey Continues......

Lord I Give My Heart To You

Lord I give my heart to You,
Lord....will You mend the brokenness inside.
Will You take this heart of mine and fill it with Your love,
And Make it whole again.....

For the pain I feel inside....
Has taken all my life, has taken all my joy,
And only You......can make it right again.

Oh Lord......My Lord to You,
I give You all my hopes, I give You all my dreams,
I give them all....to You.......
Oh Lord......My Lord to You.....
Don't let me take it back......
Like I've done so many times....before.

Lord I give my heart to You,
Lord....so many times a heart that's been untrue.
For this road I've traveled down,
Has taken me so far.....away from you.....
So far away....

Lord I know that You alone....
Can mend my heart and make it Your own....
Only You Lord........Only You....

You alone can heal this broken heart,
You alone can forgive,
You alone can make my life.....
Shine.....for You......

Lord I give my heart to You.....
Lord.....My Lord......to You
I give You all my hopes I give You all my dreams,
I give them all... to You.
Oh Lord.....My Lord to You,
Don't ever give it back....

Lord I give my heart to You....
Lord I give my heart to You....
Lord I give my heart......
To You......


copyright1996 Wynn W.Flaming

The Value Of Life

It seems that I write a lot about how important and unique each life is. All we have to do is watch the news and see how quickly and unexpectedly that life can be taken away. It seems like every year around graduation time, so many school kids are killed in accidents, or shootings. A young life that will never know what life is like after their school days, never know marriage, college, kids, success and failures.

We see so many adults who lose that life way too soon, leaving kids and grand kids, love ones and friends.  It happens in a flash, in one wrong move on the interstate, with one bomb or bullet in a time of war, with one diagnosis of cancer.

We live our life with so much frivolity at times. So many minutes, hours, days, wasted, thinking we have years to do the important things in life. Sure we need to enjoy as much of our time as we can, but we need to remember to really Live Life.

Two of my favorite sayings come to mind......

Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal

and  

Live Like Your Dying

The reason I write about life so much is that I see myself, wasting so much time on trivial things that really hinder my life, instead of enhance it. I remind myself everyday that today, is the day to get serious about some things, work on some changes and really make an effort to put in the work and make the most of my time.

The Value of Life......

We can't put a price on it other than the fact that it is priceless. Every minute of life is a gift from God, a moment to do something special, to make a difference. But we as humans, look for the now and the right now, the cheap thrill or the self gratification. We've lost the meaning and importance of life that our parents and grandparents worked for each day and knew they were blessed with the rewards of their labor. 

So I again repeat myself and remind myself......

Live.....Really Live

Love With A Passion

Laugh, Even When You Feel Like Crying

Reach Out And Touch The World

Keep Your Eyes On God

and

Never Forget To Dance

and the Journey Continues.....

Walking In Your Shoes

We see the world around us through our eyes, through our perspective, and base our thoughts and reactions, judgments and attitudes, on that life.

I saw a homeless man walking down the street this week and it got me pondering what his life was like, walking in his shoes.  His cloths were soiled and well worn.  He carried a bag with most likely everything he owned.  The sweat of the heat and humidity were streaming down his face.  He was headed, who knows where.  Maybe for a place of refuge, maybe a meal at the shelter, or maybe just no place in particular. I tried to imagine his thoughts, his concept of life, his hopes and dreams....and disappointments. I wondered how he viewed the world around him, the people he met on the street and his own life. I knew there was no way I could imagine what is life was and is......without walking in those worn and tattered shoes.

As I was on that same road, I saw a man in a nice expenses car, zoom around me, with no thought of anyone but himself.  It seemed as if life owed him something, that he was the one in charge, the only one that mattered as he sped by. As I watched him, he looked like so many men in my neighborhood, phone to his ear, big fancy car, stopping at the corner store to make a drug deal, then speeding away to his next meeting.  The need for power, for money, for control, was his life. I tried to imagine his thoughts, his hopes and dreams......his disappointments. It was so easy to criticize him for what he was doing, for the lives that he was ruining, for his own life that seemed to have no concepts of morality. But, then again, I haven't walked in his shoes.

When we multiply these two men by millions, we see a world where the life around us is created partially in our own mind and partially by the circumstances of our existence. I look at my own life and sometimes am awed at the incredible experiences I've been blessed with.  I also wonder how I made it through some days where life seemed to be bent on throwing it's worst at me.

We see through our eyes, our ears, our touch....our senses and live our life accordingly. We react by the waves of thoughts that continue to roll over and over in our minds.  We live with our vices, the thorns in our side, our misgivings, our mistakes, and judge the world by the way we judge ourselves. We forget sometimes that the world doesn't revolve around us because in our mind, through our eyes......it does.

Can we change our perspective, our view of this world.  Can we open our hearts to living life with the warmth of love and a greater cause. Can we stop looking at the world, as we walk in our shoes and imagine what it would be like, to walk in the shoes of the man you meet on the street, the cashier behind the counter, the lady that just shot by you on the road...........

I don't know......
I guess it comes from our own desire to make this world a better place, to walk in others shoes for a day, and as my good friend Lin gave me the best advice I've been given.........

Be Who You Wish The World Would Be

and the Journey Continues.....

One Pull Up At A Time

It's been a challenge getting my strength and endurance back after the damage done to it over the last few years.  Working with a trainer has encouraged me, but the actual process.....Hmmmmmm......

I went to the pull up bar this last week and was able to do ONE pull up.  Wow.....I realized just how bad of shape my body was in.  When I was a kid in school, I was the pull up king. I could do pull ups, sit ups and push ups like no one else and I was a skinny little kid with not much muscle at all.

It's amazing how age, too much stress and the side effects of chemo can affect the human body.  I remember my parents struggled physically the last few years with their bodies.  Their minds told them they could do anything, but their bodies were just worn out. 

My mind struggles with the cloudy depths of depression at times, but on a clear day, I see a few rays of sunlight. I still feel like a young man at times, but other times, feel old and worn out.. As I struggled to complete that one pull up, I told myself soon, I'll make it two. As I write different blog entries, it gives me a chance to clear a bit of the clouds and see a ray off light.

I've learned that therapy comes in all shapes, sizes and forms. As long as we keep pushing through the turmoil and the pain, we can improve our quality of life, but we have to keep on keeping on.  We have to remember our humanity but keep ourselves open to the possibilities. We have to learn to take it one day, one moment, one step at a time.

So today, I take a few minutes to write. Tomorrow, I'll try to make it two pull ups. I'll continue to push others into a positive outlook to help my own outlook.  I may not always succeed, but I know I won't succeed unless I take it..........

One Pull Up At A Time

and the Journey Continues.....