You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me

Today has been a time of reminiscing, a time of looking back at achievements and failures, incredible opportunities and really bad choices.

So many adventures were far beyond my dreams.....

Singing at Amy Grants house, with the likes of Michael W. Smith, Paul Overstreet, Nichole, and several other Christian artist.
Working for top Christian Music Companies such as Benson and Diadem and getting to meet so many Christian artist there, as well.

Having the chance to write several Christmas musicals for my church back home, wedding songs for several friends, Praise and Worship songs in Amarillo and Christian Rock songs while singing with the Group, Lazarus, in Amarillo. I've been published and made it to the the Christian chart list.

I've been able to travel, seeing so many places I've only dreamed of. I've been blessed in so many ways.....

But.....I gone through what felt like the gates of hell as well........

So many unexpected problems in dealing with life, and family, and friends, taking my stress level farther than I could ever have imagined, Dealing with cancer and depression, the pain and the hopelessness. So many choices that were, REALLY BAD CHOICES and facing the consequences of each one of them.

But as I was reminiscing, I realized how easy it is to live in the past. How complacent we can become with our previous success, and belabored by the rough times and mistakes.

This was not a time for me look for praise or pity, for sympathy or a pat on the back. This was a time for me to realize how blessed I've been for the good things, and how strong I've become for the trials of life.
But, as the song by Cher says, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME.

As we are blessed with each Breath that God gives us, there is so much more to do, to conquer, to create, to change. We have to live for Right Now, and at the same time, Look To The Future with hope, life, joy and love. We have to learn that we can't live off of our past achievements and bad choices forever. As Oral Roberts would say so many times.....

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

Even though we are getting up in our years, by the Grace of God.........

We Are Just Getting Started........


and the Journey Continues.......

Spinning Out Of Control

This entry is a bit different for me.....actually....really different.  It stemmed from a friends conversations.......


Spinning Out Of Control........

The called her a crack whore. They new that all they had to do was to give her a call, or flag her down from the street, and she was theirs.

She wasn't one with an addictive behavior, at least not for drugs or booze. Her addiction was the need to be with a strong man, one that would make her laugh, that would make her feel like she was worth something. In all her beauty and sweetness of spirit, she felt the need for something more.

She wasn't living on the streets, but she was drawn to them. Her will power and moral judgement was thrown out the window as she longed to fill the emptiness in her soul.

She would continue to say no to her desires, but they always popped up at her weakest moments. After a cocktail or two with friends, she headed back to, that part of town, knowing she shouldn't, but longing to feel something that wasn't there.

She always tried to keep a level head about money, not over spend on her desires, not give in completely to the high and the lust, but she was rarely successful.

She was a lady of reputation and class. To the world around her, she was the blessed one. One who could succeed at anything. But her secret side, always led her to the streets, searching for her worth, but only finding a brief moment of satisfaction.

Her desires stopped for a while as she met a good man, one who loved her, took care of her, was there for her in every way....except for the intimacy that she craved for. It didn't take long for the dark desires to overtake her once more.

She cried out to God for hope and help, longing to give up her addiction. But with one breath came a prayer, and with the next, came the desire.

We talked about her relationship with God, about letting Him deeper into her life. Her head and her heart knew the answers, but she couldn't get her desires out of her mind. Every day she would wake up, thinking, today is the day. No more will she give in to her desires, no more will she waste the money knowing it's price would still leave her empty.

She struggled.....and struggles, so tired of her life, only seeing the defeat, the dishonesty, the cheating. She knows God is the answer, but her struggles continue. She prays that it doesn't take her to the bottom of the barrel before she finally sees the light. She knows she's a good person and can offer so much, if she can only let go....let God....let Love find it's way into her heart.......

So we lift her up in prayer, we ask God to give her strength, and hope, and a new feeling of worth. We pray for that new life for her....free....happy......and loved......

As her Journey Continues.......

Who I Am

Listening to the radio, again this week, the lyrics of a song seemed to jump out at me.

"What You Are Going Through, Is Not Who You Are"

That thought really hit home for me. So many times I've defined who I am, by just exactly that, what I am growing through. Whether it was the struggles of family, the pain of depression, the triumphs or battle scars, or the woes of the world weighing too heavy on my shoulders.

Sure, we learn from these moments. How we react to them can reveal our strengths and weaknesses, our moral outlook and our character. But to realize that, this is NOT who I am, but just the hills and valleys of my journey of life, was an eye opener.

Thinking on these thoughts, I looked out the window at a weeping willow tree in my yard. Last year, during one of my trips to Texas, a severe storm came through Nashville and broke the top half of the willow completely off. Looking at it today, it has spouted out huge and beautiful limbs from the center, growing stronger and more magnificent than before. The willow was strong, and from it's strength, it conquered the storm. If it had been a weaker tree, it would have perished.

So Who Am I......

I am a man of my word . I have my moments of weakness, but because of my faith, I can rely on God to help me through those struggles. I'm far from perfect, far from being the best example to live by at times, but I continue to be the best that I can be. I've found that through my times of adversity, I am a much stronger person than I could have ever imagined. I am way too compassionate at times and have learned that, that compassion can be both a blessing and a curse. I have a passion for life, but because of my struggles, I have allowed that passion to be overcast at times. I've been blessed with creative gifts, too many times they've been put on the back burner, but they are my comfort and joy. I am one that no longer has to live my with the approval of others....yep....this is my life. I can take their counsel, but can be led by my morals, my judgement, Gods leadership and good old common sense.

This is just part of Who I Am.......but.....I now realize that my struggles and triumphs do not define me. They can mold my character, become a part my outlook, but they do not have to dictate who I am. My inner being, my heart, my spirit, my soul, define who I am.

This may sound a bit strange coming from me.  I'm one that usually doesn't like to use the I or Me words. I'm more for writing about the journey itself, life lessons learned, the good and the bad around  us.
But this was such a ray of sunshine for me, it needed to be put down in words.

So again, I leave you with this thought.......

"What You Are Going Through, Is Not Who You Are"


and the Journey Continues.......

The Gift Of Another Year

As my birthday comes around and I reach the ripe old age of 58, I look back to a few years ago when I never thought I would see 58, or 50, or 45...........

With the diagnosis of cancer, the words, that I have 6 months to a year to live, came as well. So what did I do......I went back to work and finished my day.

With an out pouring of prayers, cards, phone calls and love, and getting my attitude right, life just seemed to look up. At church, my preacher prayed for peace which came immediately. At work, having one of the most stressful jobs there, I just let it go and in one day, the stress was gone. As I went through the chemo and radiation, I grew tired, lost my hair, had mouth sores, colon and kidney problems and felt like......well....you know, but I endured.

Surprisingly, I never saw myself....... DEAD.......
A friend of mine at work said the same thing.
I watched others battling with the same cancer I had, giving up, fading away and yes.... dying, the same fate my doctors expected from me.

But I'm Here.....

So I thank God for this Birthday, just as I have the past few Birthdays, knowing that He is My Healer, He is My Strength, He is My Hope.......

My road is not and has not been an easy one, as my body continues to fight the battle. With some of the struggles over the past few years, it's been hard keeping my attitude in a good place. With the burdens of family, life struggles, the pain in my body and depression kicking in, there have been times that I've just wanted to give up......

But God Never Gave Up On Me......

So........Thank You God for Another Year......

I will continue to follow in your light, finding my hope in you, feeling your arms of love and warmth around me and continue letting you use me.......For You........to make this world a better place, now, and in the years I have to come......


and the Journey Continues.....

A Time To Praise

Working on a couple of praise choruses, I came across an old recording of them and thought I'd share. The recording is not that clear but if gives an idea of the first two choruses in my songbook.......

Enjoy......

Song Of Praise

We sing our praises to You, oh Lord our God most holy
We lift our hands in holy praise to You
For You alone are worthy, to receive power and glory
To You we lift our song of praise

In your presence, we will worship You
Love and adore You in all that we do
Living our lives just to magnify Your name
To You we lift our songs of praise

copyright 2012 Wynn W. Flaming Publishing


Greater Is He

Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world
Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world

And I will stand, yes I will stand
     (yes I will stand yes I will, yes I will stand yes I will)
I will stand on the word of the Lord
And I will stand, yes I will stand
     (yes I will stand yes I will, yes I will stand yew I will)
I will stand on the word of the Lord

copyright 2012 Wynn W. Flaming Publishing

A Moment Of Peace

Leaving the gym this morning, I turned on the radio to my favorite CCM station.  I usually leave the gym, worn out, drained and hurting all over, but driving down the road, this morning, I noticed something different......

I Was At Peace

It was if, the burdens of the world had been lifted, the pain in my gut was gone and the noise in my head had been silenced. It was so unexpected, it took me completely by surprise.

For the first time, in a long time, I felt completely at peace with the world, myself and life.........

The words to the song came to mind by Rich Mullins:

"You have been my King of Glory

  Won't you be my Prince of Peace"

So I took that moment to say.....Thank You Lord, for this special time of peace, for this time to feel Your presence, for this wonderful feeling of joy.

For this unexpected blessing.

and the Journey Continues.....

You Rescue Me

Yep,I'm finally getting the chance to finish my songbook and it's definitely bringing back a few memories of past songs written. It's also giving me a chance to share some for those who haven't heard them and bring back more memories for those who have sung some of these songs and praise choruses with me.....so enjoy.....

"You Rescue Me"

When the darkness falls around me, and the ways come crashing in.

And my life is drifting hopelessly, like a boat against the wind.

You are always there to lead me, in Your strength I can abide.

You alone are there to rescue me.

You rescue me from hidden dangers, when my heart begins to roam.

When the path seems long and weary, You never leave me on my own.

You are always there to lead me, in Your strength I can abide.

You alone are there to rescue me.

You rescue me, rescue me.

You rescue me, rescue me

You are always there to lead me, in Your strength I can abide.

You alone are there to rescue me.

You rescue me, rescue me

You rescue me, rescue me

You rescue me....

copyright 1994 Wynn W. Flaming Publishing