Wednesday, April 27, 2011


I've heard that when you give you receive unexpectedly, when you grasp a hand in need you are grasped back.  The act of us joy, purpose and fulfillment, when we least expect it. 

The last week has been a week where I've had several friends in need of hope, of comfort, of assurance and of thoughts and prayers extended their way. I've not always known the words to say and at times was not given the chance to say a word....... but I was there. 

Sometimes all we have to do is just Be......Be the One Who Listens, Cares, Grasp the Hand, Extends a Hug and Lifts up in Prayer.  Sometimes when we are struggling in our own lives and can't find the joy we're looking for, we can be the Hope, the Joy, the Friend that others are looking for.

My prayers are with you my friends, I may know or may not know what you're going through right now but I am praising God for the Peace of Mind, the Hope of Healing, the Renewing of Your Spirits and the Ability to Snatch the Joy that you have been unable to find lately.

Warmest of Love

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Giving Up

Some days we seem to end the day at the end of our ropes.  Some days we seem to start the day feeling worn out and ready to just quit....ready to give up.  Some days we feel like there is just too much responsibility, to many demands, to many hands wanting, taking, expecting, grabbing everything they can.  Some days we just wonder what happened to my world, to my peace and tranquility, to my joy, to ME. 

So, we get up and relax with a good cup of coffee and ponder the feelings, the demands, the way the road of life has turned.  We look at where we are and where we want to be and what it will take to find that warm meadow, that slow running stream, that cool breeze with a fragrance of wild daisies, that place of peace and tranquility, that place of joy.

The feeling of giving up doesn't come too often but when it does it can devastate every part of who we are.  We feel the physical pain, the emotional pain, the spiritual pain, the pain that seems to overwhelm us, smother us, defeat us.  Most of the time we know that tomorrow will be a better day but sometimes tomorrow seems to be even worse.  So... we sit with a good cup of coffee, we pray, we ponder and we realize this too will pass..... silently wondering if it really will.  We try to focus on what's good in our lives and then wonder where all the good went.  We start to feel that enough is enough.  We look at the world around us and see so much devastation, so much loss of life, so much pain and suffering and we are supposed to think that we have it made, that we are the lucky ones but the pain we feel is just as real as those who have suffered devastating acts of nature, devastating acts of war and violence.

The Journey of Life is filled with the good and the bad, the love and the hate, the giving and the selfish, the joy and the pain.  It's a process of realizing and accepting that all of this is part of that journey.  We try to keep focused on the joy, we try to let go of the pain, we try to find our a place of peace with ourselves and our God.  When the days come that we really just want to give up, we sit with a good cup of coffee, we try to find our place of peace, we look for our Strength in God to carry us through, we look for that inner strength that makes us who we are, that makes up our character.  We take each day, each moment, each step and realize that even though it seems we're going through this alone.....we're not.  We learn to take control of our lives and not let those around us dictate who are or what we are.  We choose one more day.....

Not To Give Up.........

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A Time Of Grieving

It was time to take another trip back home to Texas this last month and for some reason this one seemed harder than usual from the start.  As I drove from Nashville to To Oklahoma City, I felt a feeling of Defeat like I've never felt before.  The feeling just kept digging to the very depths of my soul and pulling me down to a place that felt so hurt, so abandoned, so defeated.....So Defeated.

The next day of driving from Oklahoma City to Perryton the feeling began to change and become clearer and more defined.  It finally hit me that the Grieving Process had begun.  This was the first trip I've made where the concern and worry and list of things to do weren't there.  This was just a time to go through belongings, box them up and decide what to do with what.  As I continued my drive home I played the music I had put on my IPod for my Mom's service and as I listened, the feelings of Grief were finally starting to express themselves. I learned shortly that this was only the prelude to an emotional week ahead.

The time came to start taking clothes to the crisis center.....My Mom and Dads Clothes.  The hardest time for my sister and I were when we had to sort through the clothes from the Nursing Home, the clothes she had just worn weeks before.  The tears came and the emotions and memories filled the house.  The decisions on what to save, what to keep, what to throw away became harder and harder and our spirits and bodies wore out with all the emotion.  Finding books scatter all through the house we realized just how much Mama liked to read.  Pictures and keepsakes boxed up from years ago, army uniforms, wedding dresses, grade school pictures and so much more hidden in boxes, in closets just waiting for the day their memories would come alive again.  Then some of the furniture was taken and sold, the bed they slept in, the desk they worked behind for gone.

My Sister left a day early which gave me a chance to stay in the house one more night alone before I headed back to Nashville.  The memories began to wash over me like giant waves in the ocean, suffocating me with their emotion.  So many years spent in that house....that house that was a home....that became a house...and became a home once again........The people that lived, laughed, loved, argued, grew up and grew old all in that one left to the memories we shared there. 

I know the there are still trips needed to be taken there and much more work to be done but I know the hardest part will be when all the work is done and the House....that was Home...will no longer be ours.  We'll have to rely on our Memories, Precious Items, and the Love In Our Hearts from the Lifetime we shared there.  I know the Grieving process has just begun in some ways and will show itself in the days and weeks ahead but someday that grief will be turned into Special Memories of Love and Laughter that turned that House into Our Home.

And the Journey Continues..........