Thursday, December 27, 2012

What Will I Do Different


We celebrated another Christmas, and I've gotta say, this was the first one in a long time that I really enjoyed........Nice.......

Next comes the start of a New Year.  There's something about 2013 that already sounds ominous. I know the number 13 has been added to years in the past. I'm not sure what those years were like, but apparently we survived. I've never been superstitious, so no worries there. It just sounds a little.......ummmm.......uh oh.....look out.

This is the time that we make our...New Year Resolutions. Then we see just how long they last.

Instead of Resolutions, I've decided that this year is going to be a year of "What Will I Do Different".
That seems to work better for me than.....Resolutions.

Last year, seeing the way my body seemed to be falling apart way too fast and with the advice of my doctors, I started going to the gym. I've learned to love it, even though my body doesn't agree most of the time, when it screams at me the next couple of days after working out.

This year, I've decided to start working on my mind as well. I'm not the reader that I would like to be, but I was fortunate to receive a Christmas Gift from a really good Friend, a Beautiful book cover  for a Kindle. He wasn't sure if I had one, but that was exactly the inspiration I needed to get one. I now have a Kindle, thanks to Christmas, that fits perfectly in the cover. I've added my first book and I'm on my way to my first improvement this year....expanding and improving my mind by reading more. Thanks Lin......

I could make a list of lot of other things that I need to do differently, but, I suppose one thing at a time will do. Taking on last years objective and being able to feel that I've accomplished it, really adds to my excitement for this year's as well.  Sure I will continue working on other things that need improvement, but I have a goal, with a purpose. Making sure my mind doesn't fall apart any worse than it already has and improve it's function.......hehehe.....sounds a little clinical....but hey....it works for me.

So as we swing into the year of 2013, I offer Good Thoughts and Prayers of Blessing Beyond Measure.
I offer new doors opened, and old habits and frustrations closed. I offer up a year where we can say, finally, now that was a year to remember. And even though we know hardships will be along for the ride, we can say, we rode first class, with respect, dignity and a road well traveled.

So what ever we do, I pray we work on Doing It Better, With Purpose,
With Compassion, With Love, With Joy and With Life.....


and the Journey Continues

Saturday, December 22, 2012

A Christmas Blessing


A Christmas Blessing


May Your Christmas be filled with Laughter
The Warmth, Glow and Music of the Angels
The Gifts of the Wise Men 
And the Hope of the Child in the Manger

May Your Christmas be filled with Love and Joy
With Friends and Family
And if alone, may you feel the comfort of His Love
And Hope, Springing Up like a Well from His Heart

May Your Christmas be a time of Remembering
The Time spent with Loved Ones Past
And those Dear and Precious to you Now
And may You dwell in His Light from Above

May Your Christmas be a Time of Celebration
More than just another day
But a Special Time
To Celebrate the Reason for the Season

May Your Christmas be a day
Where the coldness of Your Heart
Feels the Warmth of God's Promise
Of Emanuel, God With Us

May Your Christmas be a day of Rest and Peace
Of Joy and Laughter
Of Warmth and Love
And of His Hope Beyond Measure

May Your Christmas be filled with the Blessings of Christmas
Blessings sent from God above
Filled with His Love and Joy
Sent to us with His Son

May Your Christmas be Blessed, Surrounded and Consumed by His Spirit
On This Day that we take the time to Celebrate
His Birth, His Life, His Death, His Resurrection, Our Salvation, His Coming
and His Gift of Life given to Each of Us

God Bless Us Everyone

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Value Of Death


With the events of this last week, we talk a lot about the value of life. When tragedy strikes close to home, we are sickened at the loss, at the brutality. We see those so young, taken way before their time. Lives with so much hope and adventure, ended in an instant.

We see twenty six lives taken and it touches our very core....

What I guess struck me so hard today, was the fact that we have young, innocent, lives, being taken every day. We see parents and children being massacred every day. Simply by turning on our television or computer, we see. We seem so adjusted to death happening, we just take a listen and then go on our way. We seem to forget that......that death had value as well.

In the news this week. it's called an American Tragedy. We see the pictures, hear the names, the stories, the beautiful life of each one taken. People from all over the world have talked about it and sent their condolences. 

But we don't see the names, or the lives, or the tragedy that took so many away in Syria, or Israel, or Pakistan.....and the list goes on. We just hear the facts and go on about our business. It seems to take a tragedy at home, before we become emotionally involved. 

I'm not trying to take anything away from the seriousness and the sorrow of such a tragic event, that showed the worst of human nature. So many young lives were taken. I guess I'm just trying to say, when did we become so blind to the value of each death.

Why is it so easy to only see the value of each life, each child, each mother or father, brother or sister......each life taken, just when it's close to home. Why do we not look closer, show the names, the faces, the stories on the news, when it happens some place else. Maybe if the news spent more time showing the tragedy abroad, making it more personal, helping us to feel the emotion of the family, the loved ones, the community.....we would rise up from all over and say.....the madness has got to stop. Maybe we would finally stand up for what is right and good in the world, see the value of each life and each death, and find a way to turn this world around, in a new direction.

We pray, we talk, we share and for so many, we forget for a while.... until it happens again, close to home. The sad part about it....it happens everyday. Lives being taken, tragically, maliciously, cowardly.
When will we hear their stories.

As I continue listening to the news even now, we all mourn for the tragedy in Connecticut......

But please people.....when will we mourn for the voices silenced, but not heard......




Monday, December 10, 2012

The Gift Of Giving



Christmas has turned into an interesting time of year. It's amazing how we see it through a child's eyes, full of laughter and bright lights, gifts and Santa Clause, angels and the Baby Jesus.

But, as adults, it seems like this time can be the best or the worst time of year.

When we have families to share it with, it can be quite the celebration. But sometimes, even with families, there is not much joy, as each day is a struggle in one way or another. Having enough for two meals....maybe. Not enough for a gift, or a tree, or decorations. Christmas becomes a time of sadness and grief.

For some who don't have families, or that one special person to share it with, to decorate with, to enjoy a special meal with, it can become a dreaded day, a day filled with longing, and sadness, and loneliness. A day of heartbreak and depression, and sometimes anger, at the feeling of what life has dealt us. We see just another day of being alone.

Maybe this year, as we prepare for our own celebrations, we need to look past our own circle of family and friends, and see the world that others live in. Maybe this year, we need to Give the Gift of Giving.

Maybe it is given with a Hug, a Phone Call, a Christmas Card with some extra cash, a Heartfelt Prayer of Peace and Blessing in their life, a Word of Acknowledgement of letting them know that they are not alone. All it takes is for us to open our eyes and See......

See those who long for something more, some joy, some love....some hope.

For us who are Christians, we know we were given the Best Gift....the Son of God. We see the gifts of the Wise Men who gave their Best to the Baby in the Manger....Emmanuel......God With Us.

For those of other faiths, we can share that Love and Beautiful Spirit that we know.

But most importantly, we need to See.....and Realize that there are so many longing for that day of celebration, that day of not being alone, that day of being loved. We need to find a way to make a difference in their lives. We need to learn how to give The Gift Of Giving......

We need to make it More Than Just Words......but a Gift From Our Heart, Our Soul, Our Life.
We will find that our Greatest Joy comes from, not what we have Received, but what we've Given.

Make a difference today....See.....the world around you......See.....the ones who are hurting........

and Give The Gift of Giving.....


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Greener Grass


We've all gone through a time in our lives, when we have our eye on the grass on the other side of the fence. It seems so much greener, thicker, and well kept. We look at what we have and long for what we don't. We want the experience of running our bare feet through the richness of the field, to roll and play and lay in all of it's glory.

As we gaze on it's beauty, we realize two things.

First, there is a fence in the way. That fence can be a barrier made of circumstances, or fear, or both.
To leave the comfortable...but somewhat unhappy place....and climb the fence to a new beginning, can seem as big as climbing a mountain filled with unreachable cliffs.

If you're like me, it seems like I have to have all my P's and Q's in order before I can even think about attempting such a feat. I have to have all the answers, to all this questions I might face, before I can proceed. My circumstances, as well as my fear of letting go and starting the climb, seem almost too much to fathom.

Second, before we take that leap of faith, we have to take time to get a better look at what's on the other side of the fence. When we take a deeper look, we might realize that as most fields, the grass is not as green as we thought. It may be filled with unknown thistles, and weeds, and holes.

For some of us, there is no hesitation to leap over the fence, start a new journey in this life, and face all the ups and downs with a renewed energy and joy.

For some of us, the fear of the unknown, brings us to our knees, as we try to sort it all out. People living outside of our box, see our circumstances and know that there is so much need for a change. They can't understand why we have any hesitation.

So we find ourselves being the one who says, lets just do it, or the one who says, let me make sure everything will turn out right before we do.

I envy the ones who can take a leap of faith, meeting the challenge head on, and facing each twist in the road as it comes. Unfortunately, my mind is one that see's all the.....what ifs....can I make it if things don't work out....do I really want to put myself in a place of uncertainty.

Being of that mind set, I've learned that you can get stuck in a rut, for a long, long time. You can go through so many years of feeling that life has lost his zeal, it's joy, it's meaning. I know that being sensible is a good thing, as can throwing it up into the wind and enjoying the experience.

I guess, finding that balance, can be the hard part. Not being too analytical, but at the same time, not being too carefree, remembering that every action has a reaction. Learning to balance our head, and our heart.

As you can probably tell by now, I'm going through one of those circumstances, seeing my field, tattered and worn, filled with weeds, and thistles, and holes. It's a field of certainty, but also a place that's complacent, stagnate, and lifeless. I have to decide if I can meet the challenge of a new field, to make a decision for me for a change, even if it hurts some of those around me who have given their support and love, but have also given me a lot of that grief and frustration. It's a decision that could bring new joy and purpose....or circumstances that I could live to regret, if things don't work out. My analytical mind and my heart become a tug of war, not realizing that they both can meet half way, which again brings me to my knees.

So, is the Greener Grass, worth the challenges that it may hold......

I guess the answer.....will be......to be continued.........


as my Journey Continues.........


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanks And Giving



It's the season of the year, when we spend more time with family, eat way too much, and nap a lot as well. It seems like it gets here faster and faster, and becomes more of a dreaded time, than a time of Thanksgiving.

Some of us go through the motions of it being just another day, maybe because of where their life has taken them.

Some, take a few days ahead of Thanksgiving to start counting their blessings, one by one, giving thanks to God for all the wonders of His Love.

Sitting here this morning, it occurred to me that the word, Thanksgiving, is actually two words.

Thanks............and Giving........

Giving Thanks to the God who blesses us....
Giving Thanks for the life we experience every day....
Giving Thanks for family and friends and so many others that make our lives complete....

But......maybe.....we could focus on the .....Thanks.....and Giving........

Taking time to thank the people around us for the little things they do every day to make life more beautiful.
Thanking the store clerk, when she makes an extra effort to help. Thanking the guy who holds the door open for you, as you walk in the office.  These things may seem a bit trivial, but I think in our day and time, so many of us have forgotten how to show courtesy, respect, and yep, thanks.

Some of us have learned the gift of giving, but usually only show it by helping at the mission on Thanksgiving day, or by giving gifts around Christmas time.

Giving, is sharing a part of our heart, who we are, who we are perceived to be. Giving part of our heart, our time, our talent, our wealth..... spontaneously, freely, unselfishly, and unexpectedly, to those we meet every day, is true giving. Whether it's family, friends, neighbors, or people we meet on the street, giving can change lives.

Sooooo....just some simple thoughts that have the ability to make a world of difference.

Turning Thanksgiving into a time of

Thanks..........and Giving.......


and the Journey continues.......



Saturday, November 17, 2012

Slipping Into Anger



I've sat down in front of the computer several times the last couple of weeks and written several blogs....but never hit the publish button. I had some great words to say to congressman Boehner as to how fed up I was with his politics as usual. I wrote another blog about circumstances and how can we really change them....makes things right.

But as I wrote each blog, I noticed a lot of anger slipping back into my writing.

The last few weeks, I've been able to let go of a lot of the anger I had kept inside, from the last few years of craziness.  It felt good.....actually....it felt great. I was finally letting go and finding a small amount of peace again.

Then, circumstances started changing, putting me back to a place I hadn't been in a while. I realized that a lot of the circumstances that I thought I had resolved, had only been smoothed over. The last few days, those smooth edges began to get ruffled again. The anger was back. I could see it in my blogs, in my words, in the way I had been treating others, in all of it's ugly glory, and I didn't like what I was seeing.

Yesterday, it reached its peak.  My ears were ringing off the wall, the knots in my back were pulsating, and my anger was lashing out at everyone, every moment, and in every way. I realized, that the circumstances that had been bothering me, had come back to haunt me with a vengeance.

Interestingly, all the frustration, again, showed itself in my dreams.

One dream went on and on in a hotel room. I was trying and trying to find my room, only being met by one obstacle after another. The people that I thought were there to help me, became my worst hindrance. The worse it got, they finally told me there was no escape. I just wanted to get out of there. I felt I had been put in my own private hell.

The second dream had me on an island somewhere in Asia. I was an EMT of all things. The government kept wanting more and more money for me to work, but I was never given work. I wanted to leave, to head home, but again, there was no escape.

It was so obvious what I had been feeling. A feeling of hopelessness, of imprisonment, of finding no hope, no solutions to my circumstances. And with that feeling, came the anger and frustration, and again, I was taking that anger out on those around me.

It took me some time to recognize the problem, but the recognition, gave me the chance to move on. This time around, I knew I couldn't just smooth over the edges of my circumstances.  I had to confront them and find solutions to them. Otherwise, I'd be back to where I was, depressed, frustrated, angry, and unhappy.

Sometimes, our circumstances put us in a place where we seem imprisoned, and hopeless, and unhappy.
I know from my Christian background, that, that's the time I have to give it to God.

My personality is one that I feel I have to do it all, I have to solve the problem, I have to get myself out of the mess. But I've learned, I can't do it all. So I put it in God's hands.

Sometimes, it just takes stepping back for a moment, and letting God give us the whole picture, whether by what we feel, or sometimes.....with a dream.

We step back....we let go....we learn....and we let God do what He does best......


and the Journey Continues......


Monday, November 5, 2012

My Political View




Disclaimer:  This is my Journey and My Thoughts. I don't expect you to agree but I do ask that you respect my beliefs for me, as I will for you.


With so much politics in the country today, I took a look back at the evolution of my political beliefs and found them to be..... well........

I was raised in a small town in Texas with the political view of my parents, as did so many in my small town. It was easy to vote because it was a click on the ballet to vote for all on the Republican party. It didn't take me long to rethink that and realize that I liked what was represented by some members of both parties. So, yep, I became an Independent.  I voted for quite a while as an Independent voter, looking at both sides, trying to see their good points and their bad points, with a prayer. I realized they were human. Humans aren't perfect, they make mistakes and bad decisions. But you can usually tell where their heart and humanity are, by the tone of their voice, the look in their eyes and their struggle to make things right.

There was a time, when I became really disillusioned by the Democratic party. I started to see their grasp for power, their pride and purpose, getting in the way of what was right for the people. But then, I saw a Democratic President elected. Someone I felt really had a heart for the people, wanting to make our country a better place. It didn't matter if the President tried to make things better, it was all in vain as it has been so many times. The Republicans fought tooth and nail to fight everything he proposed. When our country was struggling the most, they cared more about their politics, than trying to work to make things better. Then the ugliness of the Democrats, began to spread like wildfires to the Republican party. The continued grasp for power, the continued political games, the continued actions of what we want as a party and not what's the best for the people, grew like a black cancerous mass, covering our entire country. In it, the people became filled with hate, ugliness, and hopelessness. I became so disillusioned with the whole political game, I lost all faith in our government, our politicians, our leaders. I saw every man or woman running for office, spewing out hatred and lies, or only what they thought people wanted to hear to get votes.

So.....I became.....unpolitical.........

Even though our political system reeks with  havoc, I know it's all we've got right now. Will it ever get better, probably not. Will the anger and hatred go away, probably not. Will the fake smiles and grasp for power go away, probably not. Will one party ever try to work with the other party or the other parties President, probably not. Will the people of our country start looking deeper inside what the Presidential candidates and congressional candidates are really saying, not what's being spewed across the airways, full of lies and hate and deceit, probably not. Will we ever get it right, probably not.........

But we can hope, and we can pray, and we can do our part to make this country a better place. But.....
...We.......have to make the change.  We have to look in our hearts and find what lies deep beneath. Is it hatred, anger, pride, or is it love for humanity or the desire for peace and hope. So many of us call ourselves Christians, but what we say, or do, or write when it comes to politics, or life in general, has a way of showing our true nature, our true heart.

I make the statement, a lot, BE WHO YOU WISH THE WORLD WOULD BE. By our actions, and words, and deeds, are we making a difference for a Better World, or, are we trying to send the world to hell in a hand basket. Are we hanging on to anger, the hatred, or, are we letting it go, and making everyday a gift, by filling it with words of hope, and joy, and love.

I've seen the bad side of humanity show it's face way too much lately. But in the midst of all the corruption, and darkness, I see a light crack through the surface. I pray that those of us who spread that light, will grow stronger and brighter. And those who don't, will grow tired of the games, and the hopelessness, and the anger, and try to work together to make the world.....OUR WORLD....the best it can be.......


and the Journey Continues.........


Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Return Of My Passion


I'm amazed at how much I missed the feel, the touch of a piano. Sure my keyboard is great for creating, expanding my horizons, and putting my music into print. But the piano......that's where my Passion flows.

For years I would sit at the piano and play for hours and hours, whether it was beating out my frustrations, or searching deep in to my heart and soul and letting all that I had within me flow through the keys, full of emotion, and yes, Passion.

I knew I had been missing something in my day to day routine. The expression, the release, the joy, all kept inside, wanting to get out, but with no outlet to be found. So that, what was kept inside, turned into anger, frustration, and depression.

I'm amazed that with the simple addition to a piano in my life again, within one day, there has been a change for the better. The warmth that surrounds me, the peace of mind, the quiet joy, and so much more has been renewed. This may be a puzzling statement to most people, but for us of the melody, the makers of music.....we find our peace.

So I expect and look forward to brighter days ahead as I begin to play, express, release and discover my Passion, all over again.


and the Journey Continues......




Thursday, October 25, 2012

I Had A Dream



Funny.....it seems like I've written about this before....but maybe....it was just a dream....hehehe.


It's interesting how our subconscious seems to work overtime when we dream. Our dreams reflect our day in ways that we never quite comprehended, shedding new light on the road we travel.

I could go on and on about some of the dreams I've had and yep....some of them have been doozies.....
but a couple of nights ago, while traveling from Texas, I had a very revealing dream.

I was in a town full of unfamiliar places. As I went from place to place, I caught myself, fluttering, so to speak from one interest to another. As I experienced each moment, I found that they lacked meaning.....fulfillment....satisfaction....life......
I found I was just going through the motions.

I entered a building where they were setting up a stage area and I was asked to sing something for a sound check. It's amazing how much better I sing in my dreams.
I was singing a heartfelt ballad, full of emotion....passion....heart....and life. The crowd drew quiet, intense, and totally absorbed in the moment. Tears begin to fall as all were totally caught up in the experience.

As I woke up, I was deeply moved as well. It was amazing how my subconscious mind was showing me in a unique way, what fulfilled my life the most.

My Music.....and the ability to touch a heart.

Not because of my vocal abilities, but my passion to share my heart.....my life.
Maybe that sounds a little strange, but in the process of doing a lot of soul searching lately, I've discovered the need  to  re energize my spirit, to refocus my goals, and oddly enough, my dream revealed what my mind already knew, but seemed to have forgotten. To share my heart through music is my joy.

I am continuously amazed at the human mind and will continue to be amazed at what my subconscious reveals to me in the dark hours of the night. Who knows, maybe it's not so much my subconscious, but God whispering gently, enlightening my road and guiding my way.......


and the Journey Continues......



Friday, October 12, 2012

Heading To Texas

I'm heading to Texas for a few days so I won't be around for a while. Hope you have a great couple of weeks and I'll catch up with you when I get back...........

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

More Than Just Words




Looking back over my old blog post, has been a bit intriguing for me, as my forte for writing, has always been in music.

Encouraged by a therapist friend, as a way of expressing the ups and downs of my past few years, and inspired by the writing style of  my friend, Lin Ross, http://lmross-moanerplicities.blogspot.com/, writing this blog, has truly been an interesting process.

Some of my entries have stemmed from the pain and frustration of the moment. Some from the joy that was sparked by the simplest of things. Some were my outcries of the injustices of the world and the sadness of the evolution of our humanity. Most came from a simple thought that I was able to express in just a few minutes of writing.

I've always tried to write from my heart, not my head. I found that when my head gets involved, things start sounding a bit cliche. Sharing from my heart tends to open up some old wounds at times, bringing out more of my past, and feelings, and experiences, than I am comfortable with, but all these things are part of my journey. We experience, we learn, we forget and learn again, we grow and backslide, and start a new day, all part of that process that makes us who we are. We learn life lessons through our experiences. It's what we do with these lessons that make us a better person, or not. Make us a better example to the people around us, or not. Enable us to reach out with hope and inspiration, life and joy, passion and compassion.....or not.

I hope that as I write here, it's More Than Just Words. As I find resolution in my life, it can help others going through the same process. As I am inspired by the little things, the uniqueness of the world, it can inspire others to see the world around us as such a special place. As I learn and grow from the bumps in the road, it can shed some light for others, and smooth their path ahead.

My writing, just like my life....is far from perfect, but by recognizing that, it gives me hope. As long as we see areas that need improvement......and there seem to be a lot of them.....we've got a direction, a goal, a purpose in our life. Our choices, from that moment, will make us a better person, or not. Make us an inspiration to others, or not. Give us a life full of happiness, joy and contentment, or not.

My hope is that my life, as my words, are more than just sounding brass and tinkling cymbals. That my actions speak louder than my words. That those around me can see and know that who I am, is............More Than Just Words........


and the Journey Continues.......


Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Music Of My Soul




In time of trials and troubles, most people who were raised in the church go to the scriptures for comfort. With each bump in the road, a scripture comes to mind to give that peace, that hope, that strength.

For me.......comes a song......

When turmoil comes, Rich Mullins words come.....

"You have been my King of Glory, won't You be my Prince of Peace"

"We are not as strong as we think we are"

And the Hymns we grew up on......

"There is a place of quiet rest, near to the Heart of God
A place where sin cannot molest, near to the Heart of God
Oh Jesus blessed Redeemer, sent from the Heart of God
Hold us who wait before Thee, Near to the Heart of God"

and

"What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer
Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer"

and the song, sung by Russ Taff

"When your up against a struggle, that shatteres all your dreams
And your hopes have been cruely crushed by Satan's manifested schemes
And you feel the urge within you to summit to earthly fears
Don' let the faith your standing in, seem to disappear

Praise the Lord, He can work through those who praise Him
Praise the Lord, for our God inhabits praise
Praise the Lord.....
For the chains that seem to bind you, serve only to remind you
That they drop powerless behind you 
When you praise.....Him"

So the Music of My Soul, music written through the ages about...........

Our God, Our Savior, Our Friend, Our Hope, Our Peace, Our Rest, Our Strength.....

Gives me solace to stand tall, fight the good fight and enjoy the hope of another day.....


and the Journey Continues.......





Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Nothingness




Sometimes I sit down and want to write something......but there's just nothing, an empty slate, a brain freeze.

Then I realize, this is a good thing. The peace, the noise turned off, that quiet place that I can call my own. My mind is usually running from one thing to another and sometimes, they collide in mid flight. I catch myself trying to get everything  done at once, all at the same time..... until the energy runs out. I guess I forget that I'm not 25 anymore, and going too fast, usually ends up with bumps and bruises, because I'm not paying attention to my surroundings.

So as I sit here in front of a blank screen and find that Nothingness, that's OK. I can actually laugh about it and enjoy it because it happens so rarely.

Life is a great experience and when we can find those moments where everything just stops.....we should say.......WOW......how special. It reminds us that we clutter up our lives with so much to do, so much junk, so much of what seems so important, that we forget about the meaning of life.......TO LIVE.

To live with a passion, to enjoy each moment, good or bad....yep....all part of the journey....just LIVE.

So I sit here with not much to say, but I'm savoring the moment, enjoying the peace and quiet and celebrating the Nothingness.......


and the Journey Continues......


Friday, September 21, 2012

You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me



Today has been a time of reminiscing, a time of looking back at achievements and failures, incredible opportunities and really bad choices.

So many adventures were far beyond my dreams.....

Singing at Amy Grants house, with the likes of Michael W. Smith, Paul Overstreet, Nichole, and several other Christian artist.
Working for top Christian Music Companies such as Benson and Diadem and getting to meet so many Christian artist there, as well.

Having the chance to write several Christmas musicals for my church back home, wedding songs for several friends, Praise and Worship songs in Amarillo and Christian Rock songs while singing with the Group, Lazarus, in Amarillo. I've been published and made it to the the Christian chart list.

I've been able to travel, seeing so many places I've only dreamed of. I've been blessed in so many ways.....

But.....I gone through what felt like the gates of hell as well........

So many unexpected problems in dealing with life, and family, and friends, taking my stress level farther than I could ever have imagined, Dealing with cancer and depression, the pain and the hopelessness. So many choices that were, REALLY BAD CHOICES and facing the consequences of each one of them.

But as I was reminiscing, I realized how easy it is to live in the past. How complacent we can become with our previous success, and belabored by the rough times and mistakes.

This was not a time for me look for praise or pity, for sympathy or a pat on the back. This was a time for me to realize how blessed I've been for the good things, and how strong I've become for the trials of life.
But, as the song by Cher says, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME.

As we are blessed with each Breath that God gives us, there is so much more to do, to conquer, to create, to change. We have to live for Right Now, and at the same time, Look To The Future with hope, life, joy and love. We have to learn that we can't live off of our past achievements and bad choices forever. As Oral Roberts would say so many times.....

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

Even though we are getting up in our years, by the Grace of God.........

We Are Just Getting Started........


and the Journey Continues.......



Monday, September 17, 2012

Spinning Out Of Control




This entry is a bit different for me.....actually....really different.  It stemmed from a friends conversations.......


Spinning Out Of Control........

The called her a crack whore. They new that all they had to do was to give her a call, or flag her down from the street, and she was theirs.

She wasn't one with an addictive behavior, at least not for drugs or booze. Her addiction was the need to be with a strong man, one that would make her laugh, that would make her feel like she was worth something. In all her beauty and sweetness of spirit, she felt the need for something more.

She wasn't living on the streets, but she was drawn to them. Her will power and moral judgement was thrown out the window as she longed to fill the emptiness in her soul.

She would continue to say no to her desires, but they always popped up at her weakest moments. After a cocktail or two with friends, she headed back to, that part of town, knowing she shouldn't, but longing to feel something that wasn't there.

She always tried to keep a level head about money, not over spend on her desires, not give in completely to the high and the lust, but she was rarely successful.

She was a lady of reputation and class. To the world around her, she was the blessed one. One who could succeed at anything. But her secret side, always led her to the streets, searching for her worth, but only finding a brief moment of satisfaction.

Her desires stopped for a while as she met a good man, one who loved her, took care of her, was there for her in every way....except for the intimacy that she craved for. It didn't take long for the dark desires to overtake her once more.

She cried out to God for hope and help, longing to give up her addiction. But with one breath came a prayer, and with the next, came the desire.

We talked about her relationship with God, about letting Him deeper into her life. Her head and her heart knew the answers, but she couldn't get her desires out of her mind. Every day she would wake up, thinking, today is the day. No more will she give in to her desires, no more will she waste the money knowing it's price would still leave her empty.

She struggled.....and struggles, so tired of her life, only seeing the defeat, the dishonesty, the cheating. She knows God is the answer, but her struggles continue. She prays that it doesn't take her to the bottom of the barrel before she finally sees the light. She knows she's a good person and can offer so much, if she can only let go....let God....let Love find it's way into her heart.......

So we lift her up in prayer, we ask God to give her strength, and hope, and a new feeling of worth. We pray for that new life for her....free....happy......and loved......

As her Journey Continues.......


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Who I Am




Listening to the radio, again this week, the lyrics of a song seemed to jump out at me.

"What You Are Going Through, Is Not Who You Are"

That thought really hit home for me. So many times I've defined who I am, by just exactly that, what I am growing through. Whether it was the struggles of family, the pain of depression, the triumphs or battle scars, or the woes of the world weighing too heavy on my shoulders.

Sure, we learn from these moments. How we react to them can reveal our strengths and weaknesses, our moral outlook and our character. But to realize that, this is NOT who I am, but just the hills and valleys of my journey of life, was an eye opener.

Thinking on these thoughts, I looked out the window at a weeping willow tree in my yard. Last year, during one of my trips to Texas, a severe storm came through Nashville and broke the top half of the willow completely off. Looking at it today, it has spouted out huge and beautiful limbs from the center, growing stronger and more magnificent than before. The willow was strong, and from it's strength, it conquered the storm. If it had been a weaker tree, it would have perished.

So Who Am I......

I am a man of my word . I have my moments of weakness, but because of my faith, I can rely on God to help me through those struggles. I'm far from perfect, far from being the best example to live by at times, but I continue to be the best that I can be. I've found that through my times of adversity, I am a much stronger person than I could have ever imagined. I am way too compassionate at times and have learned that, that compassion can be both a blessing and a curse. I have a passion for life, but because of my struggles, I have allowed that passion to be overcast at times. I've been blessed with creative gifts, too many times they've been put on the back burner, but they are my comfort and joy. I am one that no longer has to live my with the approval of others....yep....this is my life. I can take their counsel, but can be led by my morals, my judgement, Gods leadership and good old common sense.

This is just part of Who I Am.......but.....I now realize that my struggles and triumphs do not define me. They can mold my character, become a part my outlook, but they do not have to dictate who I am. My inner being, my heart, my spirit, my soul, define who I am.

This may sound a bit strange coming from me.  I'm one that usually doesn't like to use the I or Me words. I'm more for writing about the journey itself, life lessons learned, the good and the bad around  us.
But this was such a ray of sunshine for me, it needed to be put down in words.

So again, I leave you with this thought.......

"What You Are Going Through, Is Not Who You Are"


and the Journey Continues.......





Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Gift Of Another Year



As my birthday comes around and I reach the ripe old age of 58, I look back to a few years ago when I never thought I would see 58, or 50, or 45...........

With the diagnosis of cancer, the words, that I have 6 months to a year to live, came as well. So what did I do......I went back to work and finished my day.

With an out pouring of prayers, cards, phone calls and love, and getting my attitude right, life just seemed to look up. At church, my preacher prayed for peace which came immediately. At work, having one of the most stressful jobs there, I just let it go and in one day, the stress was gone. As I went through the chemo and radiation, I grew tired, lost my hair, had mouth sores, colon and kidney problems and felt like......well....you know, but I endured.

Surprisingly, I never saw myself....... DEAD.......
A friend of mine at work said the same thing.
I watched others battling with the same cancer I had, giving up, fading away and yes.... dying, the same fate my doctors expected from me.

But I'm Here.....

So I thank God for this Birthday, just as I have the past few Birthdays, knowing that He is My Healer, He is My Strength, He is My Hope.......

My road is not and has not been an easy one, as my body continues to fight the battle. With some of the struggles over the past few years, it's been hard keeping my attitude in a good place. With the burdens of family, life struggles, the pain in my body and depression kicking in, there have been times that I've just wanted to give up......

But God Never Gave Up On Me......

So........Thank You God for Another Year......

I will continue to follow in your light, finding my hope in you, feeling your arms of love and warmth around me and continue letting you use me.......For You........to make this world a better place, now, and in the years I have to come......


and the Journey Continues.....


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A Time To Praise




Working on a couple of praise choruses, I came across an old recording of them and thought I'd share. The recording is not that clear but if gives an idea of the first two choruses in my songbook.......

Enjoy......



Song Of Praise

We sing our praises to You, oh Lord our God most holy
We lift our hands in holy praise to You
For You alone are worthy, to receive power and glory
To You we lift our song of praise

In your presence, we will worship You
Love and adore You in all that we do
Living our lives just to magnify Your name
To You we lift our songs of praise

copyright 2012 Wynn W. Flaming Publishing


Greater Is He

Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world
Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world

And I will stand, yes I will stand
     (yes I will stand yes I will, yes I will stand yes I will)
I will stand on the word of the Lord
And I will stand, yes I will stand
     (yes I will stand yes I will, yes I will stand yew I will)
I will stand on the word of the Lord

copyright 2012 Wynn W. Flaming Publishing



Wednesday, August 22, 2012

A Moment Of Peace



Leaving the gym this morning, I turned on the radio to my favorite CCM station.  I usually leave the gym, worn out, drained and hurting all over, but driving down the road, this morning, I noticed something different......

I Was At Peace

It was if, the burdens of the world had been lifted, the pain in my gut was gone and the noise in my head had been silenced. It was so unexpected, it took me completely by surprise.

For the first time, in a long time, I felt completely at peace with the world, myself and life.........

The words to the song came to mind by Rich Mullins:

"You have been my King of Glory
  Won't you be my Prince of Peace"

So I took that moment to say.....Thank You Lord, for this special time of peace, for this time to feel Your presence, for this wonderful feeling of joy.
For this unexpected blessing.


and the Journey Continues.....



Monday, August 13, 2012

You Rescue Me





Yep,I'm finally getting the chance to finish my songbook and it's definitely bringing back a few memories of past songs written. It's also giving me a chance to share some for those who haven't heard them and bring back more memories for those who have sung some of these songs and praise choruses with me.....so enjoy.....

"You Rescue Me"

When the darkness falls around me, and the ways come crashing in.
And my life is drifting hopelessly, like a boat against the wind.
You are always there to lead me, in Your strength I can abide.
You alone are there to rescue me.

You rescue me from hidden dangers, when my heart begins to roam.
When the path seems long and weary, You never leave me on my own.
You are always there to lead me, in Your strength I can abide.
You alone are there to rescue me.

You rescue me, rescue me.
You rescue me, rescue me
You are always there to lead me, in Your strength I can abide.
You alone are there to rescue me.

You rescue me, rescue me
You rescue me, rescue me
You rescue me....

copyright 1994 Wynn W. Flaming Publishing




Why Settle




It's seems like in so many areas of life.....our lives in particular.... we settle for what life has given us. Maybe it's circumstances or environment, or maybe it's choices that have been made by us or others.

Hmmmm.....Seems like I've written about this before......

Maybe it's because certain areas of my life have been stuck in a rut, so to speak. I see the changes that need to be made, but I've slipped into the comfortable place of complacency. I like a routine in my life and when that routine is broken, I feel out of sync, a bit frustrated and a bit of an unhappy camper.

I plan the day with new expectations and fulfillment, but slide back into that routine where nothing seems to get done. I settle for another day of the same old same old, wasting another day of opportunities.

I settle..........

I have all the answers as to what needs to be done and what changes need to be made.....but, I settle.......

I blame it on old age or the woes of my body when it's racked with pain and depression......but, I settle.....

I could say that at times I'm just down right lazy.....but, I settle......

I'm settling for a life unfulfilled, a life where dreams are forgotten and plans are left behind.

But why....why do some of us rise above our expectations.....and some of us just settle?

As the song says, "I've Got a New Attitude".... that seems to be part of the answer. But the drive of the heart and spirit, the hard stuff, the getting out of our comfort zone and getting accustomed to being a bit uncomfortable, seems to finish the equation.

So as I write once again, I'm preaching to the choir and I'm the main soloist. It's time to get off of my butt, break my routine, and stop settling for a life of broken dreams and disappointments.

Will I succeed....
Or will I settle.....
What ever the outcome......it's all up to me......


and the Journey continues......



Friday, August 10, 2012

Lord Of All






For some reason I've had this song on my mind a lot lately. I wrote it a few years back.
I didn't have a vocal recording of it but will work on that soon. Here's the computer version......

"Lord Of All"

Lord be the Lord of all I am, and Lord of all I can be
Surround me in love and righteousness, in mercy and truth will You lead
Glory and honor I give to You, worthy the Lamb that was slain
With power and might, in Your holy light
You give life's meaning to me

(Repeat)

Worthy, You are worthy
You are worthy Lord of honor and praise
Worthy, You are worthy
You are worthy Lord of honor and praise

(Repeat)

Of honor and praise
Of honor and praise

copyright 1994 Wynn W. Flaming Publishing





Thursday, August 2, 2012

I Choose Life




Seems like a lot of my blogs have been very gloomy lately, so today I offer some Joy.........


I Choose Life.....

I step outside and feel the warmth of the sun on my face
I see the beauty of nature all around with it's splendor and colors
I walk slowly so I don't miss out, taking in all the wonders around me

I breath deeply, feeling the fresh air fill my lungs
I feel the strength of my body
I notice the little signs of age catching up, but I have the joy of feeling those little aches and pains

I catch myself singing, yes singing, feeling that lost passion arise again
I look out and see the woes of the world hidden by the light of God's love
I feel His peace surround me like a warm blanket, shielding me from a cool breeze

I have a roof over my head and food on my table
I have been blessed with friends who care
I live in a town where music is a way of life

I have lost love ones, but have had the chance to have them in my life
I lived a life, blessed with great adventures, journeys and travels
I have dreams and hopes, yet to come, full of limitless possibilities

I know that life is a gift and today, is the first day, of the rest of my life
I can make a difference in this world with my choices, my talents and my heart
I will let God's love shine through me, erasing the darkness

I step outside and feel the warmth of the sun on my face
I breath deeply, feeling the fresh air fill my lungs
I catch myself singing, yes singing, feeling that lost passion arise again
I have a roof over my head and food on my table
I have lost love ones, but have had the chance to have them in my life
I know that life is a gift and today, is the first day, of the rest of my life

I Choose Life.....





Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Empathy




I don't know if it's possible to have too much empathy for the world around us. Add concern, sympathy and heart and that can lead to a lot of pain in one's life. Thus, I don't know if that's a blessing or a curse.

I tend to let the woes of the world over come me at times, pulling me down, and at times, take the life out of me.

I talk a lot about finding balance in life, probably because that's one of the hardest things for me to do. I look at the world around me and see the woes before I see the victories. I think because of the last few years of pain concerning family situations, it's become my norm. But as Shannon and Lin commented in previous blogs, it's that pain that I have felt that allows me to feel more deeply, the pain of others.

As I look at the political adds, opinions, anger and frustrations, I hurt....wondering why we have forgotten how to be human, show love and compassion and get along.

As I watch the screen above the highways showing 12 more people killed on Tennessee roads today, I hurt.....knowing so many families and friends have lost someone so special in a blink of an eye.

As I watched the couple at the pharmacy, who had walked for miles in the heat from the shelter, only to find that their prescription wouldn't be ready till tomorrow, I hurt....wondering what brought them to that point in their lives and how they must view their world.

As I watch hundreds killed everyday in foreign countries, I hurt.....wondering when will the madness stop.

I realize all these things are a part of life, a part of our journey. I realize we have to take the good and the bad and realize it all makes us who we are.........

But.......
I still struggle to find that balance......
I still struggle to see the joy before the sadness, the good before the bad......
I still struggle to not let my empathy....and sympathy.....and concern.....and heart, take away my own joy and uniqueness, my own purpose and fulfillment, my own hopes and dreams......
I still struggle to see the light at the end of the tunnel, knowing it's there, just hidden by the darkness.

So I continue my quest to find that balance in life, to not let the hurts take away from my healing, to let laughter fill my voice where no tears seem to flow.
I continue on my Journey of Life, hoping to reach out, to make a difference, to share my heart, to dream of better days and to continue to Live my Life......the Best I Can......



Monday, July 30, 2012

A Day In The Life.......Or.....Death




I stepped outside this evening and snapped a couple of photos of some of the out door cats. Smokey Joe, was sleeping peacefully in the porch chair, with out a care in the world. I left for about ten minutes to pick up some supper a few blocks away, and as I returned home.....Smokey Joe, was in the street. I picked him up, his body still warm but lifeless, a touch of blood from his mouth. Just a kitten....but my kitten and you might say one of the kids.

I had just heard on the TV about a young man drowning in a lake near by,  a young man killed in a car accident just a few minutes before.  Then there was the news of O.J. Murdock, a WR for the Tennessee Titans who died this morning at 25 as the result of a suicide.

A day of dying.....
A day of tragedy.....
A day of shock.....
A day of mourning.....

Parents, keep your children close. Nurture them, love them, and help them see each day as a wonderful experience, a gift, a blessing......

Children, love your parents, show them respect, savor each moment with them......

Live your life like there is no tomorrow, for we never know when tomorrow, will never come........


Friday, July 27, 2012

Feelings




We live in a world where pain, death, tragedy and hardships have become common place.  Sure, we've experienced these things through out history, but with the unlimited access from tv, computers, cell phones, iPads, etc, we become aware of what's in the news right after it happens.  With all of our technology, we are bombarded everyday with the world's tragedy, and with the news, it seems like we see more tragedy, then joy. It's as though we've become way too accustomed to it. It's as though we've forgotten how to feel.

My friend, Lin, made a comment on one of my earlier blogs about Mercy.  He said....
"Unless one is in or has lived in a place of pain, has known deep anguish, is not one to forget what it FEELS like, then mercy is in short supply."


Being exposed to so much....stuff.... on a daily basis, seems to have made us a bit numb at times, when it comes to our feelings. When we go through our own pain or joy, and really feel it.....Really Feel It.....we tend to show more compassion and empathy when others feel suffering. Then as time passes, we too seem to forget the deep emotions and feeling we had and become complacent in our own little worlds.

Maybe I'm talking more about me, than you.  We all perceive the world differently. We all deal with our feelings and cope with the world around us in our own unique way. Some of us tend to shut off our emotions in times of stress. Others are able to let the rivers of tears flow, in times of pain, and times of joy.
I tend to shut off more....then shed.

For those of us who are lovers of technology, we catch our minds running a marathon most of the time. With so much going on in our skulls, we tend to forget about what's going on in our hearts. We forget how to feel.

As with most things....good things...in life, we have to make a conscious effort to learn them, to let them grow, to let them become a part of who we are.  As we learn how to expand our minds, we have to learn how to expand our hearts.  We have to learn how to Really Feel, so the other good things in life....Love, Passion, Compassion, Mercy, Hope, Faith and Joy, can manifest themselves more fully as well.

So as I continue on my journey of life, I too have to continue to make that effort to Feel from the Heart, and not just the Head. To enjoy the life that God has given. To accept the things that I can not change and make the things I can better. To give the world my Heart and hope, in a small way, it becomes a better place......


and the Journey Continues......




Thursday, July 26, 2012

Music





I've always felt that Music is the Key that opens the Door to the Heart and Soul.....

Music has always been my passion, my release, my escape, my heart......
It's been neglected at times in my life, but every time I find my way back to it, I find that comfort.
Hmmmmm......much like God......

When I sit at the piano...and yep....the piano is so much better than a keyboard, I can let my emotions flow for hours and hours without stopping. When I'm done, I'm drained, but at peace. Whether I'm just letting the music flow or I'm playing with the purpose of creating, it's a time of fulfillment for me.

I'ts amazing how many times I've been deep in the frustrations of the world and forgotten to let the music soothe me with it's healing powers.
Hmmmmm......much like God.....

As Arthur O'Shaughnessy wrote,

"We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams"


We've been blessed in life with different talents, some art and writing, some music and dance, some sports or mathematics, some the gift of being a mother or father or a friend, with a heart of gold. That talent or gift, as it seems, comes from a place deep within us, chosen by the God that guides us.  We can either take hold of that gift and run with it, or let it turn to dust by the wayside. We can let our dreams reach out to new heights or become dulled by the mediocrity of our own complacency.

So once again, I return to my music and let it once again become my passion and my joy. I will beat the keys with my anger and frustration, my inner most thoughts and feelings, as well as my victories and dreams. I will let the life of the chords and melodies take me to a place that only they can.
I will let go....
I will create.....
I will begin again.....


and the Journey Continues.......





Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Quality Of Mercy






"The quality of mercy is not strained
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath
It is twice blessed
It blesses him that gives and him that takes"

I suppose, Mrs. Cooper, my high school English teacher, would be proud.  For some reason this popped into my head today.  One of those things we had to memorize years ago that seemed to have found it's way into a deep crevice somewhere in my brain, waiting patiently to rise up when the time was right.

The quality of mercy, one that goes hand in hand with humbleness, compassion, patience, love, forgiveness and a few other attributes that bring out the special beauty of humanity. It's a quality that we expect from our leaders, our preachers, our parents, our loved ones, and that list goes on as well. But in our day and time, Mercy, seems to be a forgotten art, a neglected trait. In a world where the act of giving and taking for oneself seems to be the norm, the quality of mercy has become much more difficult to find.

"The quality of mercy is not strained
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath"

It's as though mercy has lost it's place in the world, overcome by anger, hatred, bigotry, judgement, greed and power. The Bible speaks of Hope, Faith and Love and the Greatest of these is Love. And out of love comes mercy.

The dictionary describes mercy as compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power. The disposition to be compassionate.

Too many times the quality of mercy is not only strained, but it's seems to have been removed from our vocabulary all together.

"It is twice blessed
It blesses him that gives and him that takes"

It seems to have become easier to criticize, than show mercy, there for, no one is blessed.

As we strive to make the world a better place, maybe it's time to replace a lot of our actions and attitudes........with Mercy........
As we become who we wish the world would be.......let Mercy........become as falling, gentle rain........blessing the world around us......


and the Journey Continues.......



Sunday, July 15, 2012

When We've Said It All



So what do we write when we've said it all.....or so it seems

We start from scratch and write a new chapter, a new perspective, a new story.......

When we've shared our opinions and desires, our pains and hurts.
When we've looked at the world with the reality of human nature and the simple faith of a child
When we've been torn apart from the inside out and found the need to live and love and hope again.......

When it's all been said....and done....
We must find a way to let go of the pain, the hurting inside
We must learn from our experiences
We must accept the fact that we are human, not perfect
We must endure what life throws our way, and seek out new and wondrous possibilities

When we've said it all, we'll learn, there are more verses to our song
We'll learn to let go of the deepest caverns of our soul and fill them with new light and life
We'll realize that each person is unique in their own way
And with that we'll learn to accept that they have their rights, opinions, beliefs.....
Just as we have ours
We'll realize that they are human as well and can be stubborn, biased and even heartless at times
But they can also bring us love, joy, friendship

When we've said it all......it's time to let go of it
It's time to lift our eyes to the Heavens  and see the Blessings that God has given
When we take our eyes off the turmoil
We can rekindle the things that brought us hope and happiness, fulfillment and peace of mind
When we realize that even though we are one, in a world full of millions
We can still make a difference
We can still give back
We can still be

When we've said it all, we must close the door to the past, and not let it pull us back
But let us take what we've learned and live for today, tomorrow, and the weeks and months ahead

To let go is one of the hardest thing we can do, but unless we do, there is no hope in growth, in change, and our pursuit of happiness

When we've said it all
We can begin a new

We must..........We must..........We must


and the Journey Continues





Thursday, July 5, 2012

Sadness......



Sadness.....

The longing that digs deep....
The hurt that never finds relief....
The hopelessness that knows no comfort....
The sweat from a life of burdens.....

The tears that need to be shed
But are empty, a well that's gone dry

The struggle to find.....
To find something that will ease the pain....
That will heal the heart....
That will lighten the load....

The tears that need to be shed
But are empty, a well that's gone dry

Walking the streets of regret.....
Feeling the pain of choices.....
Corrupted by the multitudes around us.....
The loss that fills the depths of the soul....

The tears that need to be shed
But are empty, a well that's gone dry

Sadness.....

The frustration.....
The confusion....
The loneliness.....
The hopelessness.....

The tears that need to be shed
But are empty, a well that's gone dry


When will the tears come...
When will the dam break
When will we find relief...
When will the hurting stop...

When will the hurting stop...........

When will the hurting stop...........



Sunday, June 24, 2012

Slow Down Life





I made the comment the other day....Slow Down Life.....this is supposed to be the Scenic Route, not the Express.......

Yep, it was on of those days when my mind and body were racing as fast as they could until they finally gave out. As I thought about that comment, it made me stop and think. Life is not speeding on the express train to no where. I AM.....

We are in control of life, to a certain extent.  We choose how we spend our days and what we do with our time. The time wasted.......that's on us.....not life. We've let our minds run a muck for so long, we've forgotten how to focus. Our minds have been so wired for speed, we've forgotten how to.....JUST STOP......and SAVOR THE MOMENT.


We've put our lives on the express train for so long, we can't seem to find our way back to the Scenic Route.

The first few years I lived in Nashville, I loved playing tourist, whether it was a walk downtown, or sitting by the Parthenon, or enjoying the sound of the waterfalls at Opryland Hotel. Even though I saw the same things over and over, the experiences and the people were always different and unique.

The last few years of dealing with family issues and the wear and tear on my body, seems to have changed my perspective, my attitude toward life, my enjoyment for the simple things. It's as though I need to shake off the layers of dust, just to remember who I am and what simple joy is.

It's my choice to stop the express, take a moment or two, or three, for me. I've got to remember, if I died today, the world would continue turning. The problems of the world that seem to weigh so heavy on my shoulders would be solved with out my need to fix them.  Life would go on.

It's always been easier for me to give advice, then take it, especially my own, as well as the advice of some very wise friends. But today, I need to let that wisdom sink into my heart and my soul, not just my head.

I need to recapture that feeling of being a tourist, not just in Nashville, but a TOURIST OF LIFE. I need to quit blaming....LIFE.... for the speed on this journey. It's time, once again, to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again, in a more simpler and enjoyable way.  Will I succeed, only time will tell, but it's time to live with no regrets, no looking back, no what ifs......and just...... LIVE.............


and the Journey Continues.....



Saturday, June 16, 2012

The New Civil War




Two sides opposing each other
Full of conviction, passion, anger, even hatred
Families are split apart and neighbors and coworkers divided
A division that hasn't been this bad since America fought within itself decades ago

The New Civil War

You would think in our day and time, we could try to agree, we could make an effort to get a long
But the division runs too deep
There doesn't seem to be any hope of working things out
Love has become hatred, compliments have become criticism
Hearts and minds have been closed off from any view but their own

And yes, there are causalities
Maybe not in a body count, but in a country dying from the inside out.
The leaders have become granite statues
Solid, unmovable, heartless
No longer possessing the qualities of humanity
And because of their action and sometimes inaction
They've turned a country against itself


They take one or two words of the opposing side
Twist it, discolor it, making it a giant black banner for their cause
They crusade for the welfare of their country
While blaming the others for what is wrong
Building barriers that block any reconciliation

They cry for the needs of the people
But spend millions and millions and millions
To spread the lies, the half truths
Never realizing how they could use those millions to solve the woes of our country
The blame falls on both sides, in every rank
From civilians, to general, to leaders and want to be leaders
From the powerful, the wealthy and the weak

The elected are there to bring a balance
But they continue to tip the scales in their quest for power and greed
They feed hatred into the hearts of their followers
They ignite the fires of discord
All in the name of democracy

They lift their mascots to the sky
Donkeys and Elephants with pride
But so fitting, as the Donkey is Stubborn
And the Elephant's size allows it to barrel through any barriers that stand in the way

Where is the peace
Where is the compromise
Where is the brotherly love
When will we learn that hatred brings division
When will we learn that we are better than this
When will we see that the division makes us weak
When will it no longer be your side, or my side
But our side

Sometimes I feel there is no longer hope for America
Until this Civil War comes to an end
And sadly, the end seems so far away
As long as both sides of our elected leaders and leaders to come
Continue to divide, to spew their lies and half lies
Continue to widen the gap in their quest for power, for greed
Continue to let their arrogance make decisions for what is right for the people

Our New Civil War will continue to destroy our country
Continue......and Continue.......and Continue...............






Thursday, June 7, 2012

A Caretaker's Saga




At an early age, one sees the anguish in the world. The pain of loved ones, the uncomfortable circumstances, the codependency and troubles of others. One tries to compensate, sometimes with laughter, other times with silence, trying to make the awkward situation more comfortable, the tension in the room less threatening. 

The emotions are turned off and the Caretaker begins a roll that starts much to early in life with more responsibility then one should have to endure so young.

The pattern begins. Now the life of me and my has been replaced with them and they. The needs of others takes center stage in life. The world revolves around others joy, others happiness, others help and understanding and the individuality of the Caretaker, disappears into the darkness.  Without realizing the pattern has taken shape, it's roots grow deep into the heart, the mind and the soul. 

They began to pick up the pieces of others shattered lives. They carry the weight of the needy on their shoulders. They loose the love, the joy, the peace of mind that they deserve, and long for a purpose in life that has more substance, more meaning, that brings back the me and the my.

The pattern continues with each turn in the road, each acquaintance, each special someone. They unwittingly seem to accept that this is their lot in life, not willingly, but just wanting to keep the peace, calm the anger, not hurt the ones that they seem to love so much. They continue to disappear into the darkness, looking for the light of their own existence, wondering why they've forgotten what joy is, what a smile feels like without worrying about the smile of others.

The Saga will continue on....and on.....and on............and on.....unless, they take a deeper look, they cry out a little louder. 
The longing in their hearts has to rise above the needy, the codependent, the others.
It has to shout....This Is My Life......Not Yours
It has to shout.....This Is The Only Life I Have....My Chance To Live For Me....To Find My Happiness and My Joy......
It has to want a Chance To Live Guilt Free.....Worry Free.....
and let go of the responsibility and burden of those who have taken so much of that life. 
They have to let others live their own life, make their own mistakes, solve their own problems and if need be, drown in their own struggles and sorrows....... 

The Saga of a Caretaker has a high price on life with little reward...... until.....
They Choose.......THEY CHOOSE to start living....start stretching their horizons.
There will always be a need to want to help because the Caretaker has a kind heart, a loving soul....
But.....
To really live life......
They have to take the first step and the next....and the next..... to find that beautiful and fulfilling happiness and joy......and meaning........and Life........ 

and the Journey Continues......




Friday, June 1, 2012

Lord I Give My Heart To You




Lord I give my heart to You,
Lord....will You mend the brokenness inside.
Will You take this heart of mine and fill it with Your love,
And Make it whole again.....

For the pain I feel inside....
Has taken all my life, has taken all my joy,
And only You......can make it right again.

Oh Lord......My Lord to You,
I give You all my hopes, I give You all my dreams,
I give them all....to You.......
Oh Lord......My Lord to You.....
Don't let me take it back......
Like I've done so many times....before.

Lord I give my heart to You,
Lord....so many times a heart that's been untrue.
For this road I've traveled down,
Has taken me so far.....away from you.....
So far away....

Lord I know that You alone....
Can mend my heart and make it Your own....
Only You Lord........Only You....

You alone can heal this broken heart,
You alone can forgive,
You alone can make my life.....
Shine.....for You......

Lord I give my heart to You.....
Lord.....My Lord......to You
I give You all my hopes I give You all my dreams,
I give them all... to You.
Oh Lord.....My Lord to You,
Don't ever give it back....

Lord I give my heart to You....
Lord I give my heart to You....
Lord I give my heart......
To You......


copyright1996 Wynn W.Flaming