Thursday, June 7, 2012

A Caretaker's Saga




At an early age, one sees the anguish in the world. The pain of loved ones, the uncomfortable circumstances, the codependency and troubles of others. One tries to compensate, sometimes with laughter, other times with silence, trying to make the awkward situation more comfortable, the tension in the room less threatening. 

The emotions are turned off and the Caretaker begins a roll that starts much to early in life with more responsibility then one should have to endure so young.

The pattern begins. Now the life of me and my has been replaced with them and they. The needs of others takes center stage in life. The world revolves around others joy, others happiness, others help and understanding and the individuality of the Caretaker, disappears into the darkness.  Without realizing the pattern has taken shape, it's roots grow deep into the heart, the mind and the soul. 

They began to pick up the pieces of others shattered lives. They carry the weight of the needy on their shoulders. They loose the love, the joy, the peace of mind that they deserve, and long for a purpose in life that has more substance, more meaning, that brings back the me and the my.

The pattern continues with each turn in the road, each acquaintance, each special someone. They unwittingly seem to accept that this is their lot in life, not willingly, but just wanting to keep the peace, calm the anger, not hurt the ones that they seem to love so much. They continue to disappear into the darkness, looking for the light of their own existence, wondering why they've forgotten what joy is, what a smile feels like without worrying about the smile of others.

The Saga will continue on....and on.....and on............and on.....unless, they take a deeper look, they cry out a little louder. 
The longing in their hearts has to rise above the needy, the codependent, the others.
It has to shout....This Is My Life......Not Yours
It has to shout.....This Is The Only Life I Have....My Chance To Live For Me....To Find My Happiness and My Joy......
It has to want a Chance To Live Guilt Free.....Worry Free.....
and let go of the responsibility and burden of those who have taken so much of that life. 
They have to let others live their own life, make their own mistakes, solve their own problems and if need be, drown in their own struggles and sorrows....... 

The Saga of a Caretaker has a high price on life with little reward...... until.....
They Choose.......THEY CHOOSE to start living....start stretching their horizons.
There will always be a need to want to help because the Caretaker has a kind heart, a loving soul....
But.....
To really live life......
They have to take the first step and the next....and the next..... to find that beautiful and fulfilling happiness and joy......and meaning........and Life........ 

and the Journey Continues......




3 comments:

Shannon said...

Wynn, I think some of us were born to that role, making sure that other's are "ok" and happy and pursuing their destinies - always being the rescuer, never the rescued. Time goes by in a blink. I'm thinking "carpe diem"!

Moanerplicity said...

Hey Wynn:

I feel the truth of this so much, especially now, w/ my mom's health situation. Perhaps we should all just shrug & accept or maybe even embrace our fate. HOWEVER, it would be nicer and far more fair if our siblings SHARED that caretaker role & took some of the weight from our already over-burdened shoulders. *sighs*

One.

WynnSong said...

I agree Shannon, there are some that have such a loving heart, they are always ready to give. But some get so drawn into it, they loose sight of their own happiness......

And yep Lin, it's sad that we have to bare this burden along sometimes, but as I'm learning, with some people, not all people, we have to let go to find that happiness.....