Mama and Her Makeup

When my Mom and Dad passed, I was the one left to make the decisions about their final arrangements. Most of the decisions were easy, but one that really sounded simple, was the most difficult for me.

When my Mom passed, the funeral home called me in to make sure I approved of the way she looked. With my first glance, I thought she looked good, considering she had lost so much weight. I walked away thinking she looked peaceful but as I came back to look, I realized there was something missing. She didn't quite look like Mama.

As long as I can remember, Mama never left the house without her makeup on. She always had a slightly purple tint of eye shadow as well as lipstick. As she got older, she would put her makeup on first thing in the morning, Even when she was in the nursing home, she would never leave her room till she applied her makeup and always had that small tint of purple on her eyes.

As I thought about this at the funeral home, I realized that's what was missing. I explained this to the worker there and they applied the makeup. Surprisingly, this decision was the most troubling to me. Did I or did I not make the right decision. This simple decision has caused me the most worry since then.

This was the one decision I really wish there would have been someone to help me with. I've told myself it was the decision that I thought was best at the time. I've told myself that it's done and long gone.

It's interesting that some of the simplest things have a way of causing the most regret. I've been looking at some of my regrets lately, trying to get a deeper insight as to why I have hung on to them for so long. Taking a look at this today, I made a judgement call at the time from Mama's life, from her daily routine, from what she thought was important.

So today I've finally let go of this regret. No more if''s, and's, but's or more. I hope maybe through this process I can slowly let go and be at peace with more regrets of what was done and decisions I've made through years. No more pondering on things that don't matter as much and decisions that were made a long time ago, a process that will hopefully put that long lost smile on my face once more.


and the Journey Continues.....

Regrets

I'm probably one of the worst for hanging on to regrets. I know all of the words of wisdom and advice for letting them go, so I can proceed ahead with a more joyful and brighter future, but I don't.

I hang on to decisions. Those I had to make when there was no one to ask for help. I regret the little things, the decisions, the why didn't I do this or that. I know it's too late to change any of these decisions but I still seem to hang on to them,

Recently I've thought about making a list of all the regrets I hold on to. Then I can make a conscientious mind set that all of these things are in the past and can't be changed. I've thought about taking that list and burning it as a symbol that nothing more can be done to change the outcome.

I'm not sure why I cling to them. Sometimes I think that some people have this built into their personality and characteristics. That having a mind that's logical and calculated and a bit of a perfectionist makes it harder to let go. Even with all of the knowledge of knowing what's right, a bit of worry and regret seems to hang in there.

As the song says, "Let I Go, Let It Go" or the words "Let Go and Let God" makes perfect sense for some, for others it's easier to say than to put into action. Unless you have this type of personality, you may not be able to comprehend what we go through.

So what do I do? I continually to try to change my mindset. Maybe burning the list will work, maybe not, but I have to keep trying. I know it's holding me back from some of the joy I seek, Somehow or some way I have to find a way to just do it. Maybe one day it will just click but today I will continue try to change by making an effort to stop when my mind goes to my valley of regrets.

and the Journey Continues.....

Seasons of Life

Light gently peaks through
A place that had been so dark, so cold
A season of time so bare, so lifeless

Colors spring out
Forms take shape
Warmth embraces

The seasons of time
Bringing new life, new purpose
A beginning and an end of a journey

With time, we live through seasons
As with life, they come and go
From darkest night to brightest day

Through God's infinite wisdom
The seasons of nature and life evolved
Ending one cycle, beginning a new

We take the days that seem so bleak
Embrace them and know
It's just a season, a moment

Rays of light soon touch us gently
Changing our surroundings
Bringing tranquility

Once again to feel the joy
The warmth
The fullness of life

We see the seasons run their course
Changing the colors around us
Changing the emotions of our soul

We soak in the warmth of light
We stand firm through the time of darkness
Finding balance as the circle continues

To embrace the darkness of sadness and pain
To revel in the light of joy and love
To find our purpose and understanding in the Seasons of Life

What I Want For Christmas

What I Want For Christmas

To learn how to laugh, so I can show the world there is more to life than what we see around us. That dark clouds do have a silver lining and even though today looks bleak, tomorrow will give us a new start.

To find peace of mind, so I can help the worried and down trodden find a quiet place to reflect, renew and and refresh.

To find hope again, so that I can be a light in a world of darkness and an encouragement to those who have lost their way.

To learn to love myself, so I can show the lonely that they are loved, the forgotten that they really do matter, and the belittled that they are just as import as everyone else.

To find a new song, so I can sing with confidence, can show my deepest heart and teach the world a song of a passion, compassion and respect.

To find real joy, a joy that bubbles up deep inside me and touches each person I meet with real happiness, tears of release and burst of unexpected smiles and emotions.

To find new purpose, filling my life with fulfillment, with confidence and with direction, to be a positive force to those around me.

To find real life, as an example for those who are just existing day by day and show them all the wonders, miracles and excitement this world has to give. 

To find a New Year, where I can learn from my mistakes, let go of my weakness, begin again a year full of brighter days and be given the chance to be the best I can be.

What I Want For Christmas

To learn to laugh with real joy,     to find real peace and hope,     where I can learn to love myself deeper,     to find a new song,     filled with purpose and life     and a new year to start a new beginning,     making each day the best it can be,     where I can be a light that shines,     touching one person at a time,     making a difference and making this world a better place.

Wishing you all the Merriest of Christmases and a Joyful and Prosperous New Year.....

Love You Much.......

Wynn

The Screams of an Angry Man

The last few weeks we've been bombarded with lies, half truths and propaganda in so many areas. Being one who seems to becoming more and more sensitive lately, I find my reactions going off the chart. I catch myself becoming angry at the world, angry at the stubbornness, angry at the comments that are put out there just to cause problems or to cause more division.

I'm really struggling to let go of the anger rearing up inside me. The world can be such an ugly place at times and it seems to be getting uglier by the minute.

I'm constantly struggling to make this world a better place in every way I can. I'm finding some who are on board and wanting this as well. But so many others are fighting tooth and nail to cause division.

I should be able to let it go and take the weight of the world off my shoulders, but when I hear people continuing to cause problems and I feel so strongly that they are wrong, I just want to shout. ENOUGH.

We have our politicians making every effort to divide our nations more. As congressman John Boehner accuses President Obama for trying to be an emperor or king for the immigration law, he forgets that after the senate passed and immigration bill and the house republicans wanted him to bring up a vote on the bill as well, he too played emperor by refusing to bring it to a vote when the house was asking for it. Why is it so easy to put all the blame on others in order to side track our own blame with the problem. Why to we constantly lie and criticize and divide our nation even more. I so wish we could get rid of the two party system and make it a One American System where everyone was working for the good of our country but I know it's not feasible. I just wish all of our political leaders would stop  playing dictator, stop playing money mongers and just stop all the games.

We our proud Americans but when we take a deep look at where we are, we fall short in a lot of areas. When some of the facts and topics are revealed to some people, they say NO, it's just propaganda. How can it be propaganda when the facts are true and we do fall short in some areas of our country. It seems easier to turn a blind eye to some of the sad facts and continue to look through rose colored glasses than to face the truth and work on making it better.

There was a movie years back, I believe call the Network where one of the characters told everyone on the news to open their windows and their doors and scream to the top of their lungs, "I madder than hell and I'm not going to take it anymore". But these days one voice screaming can't be heard, but we can scream on the internet. Scream, stop the games, stop the lies, stop the stupidity, stop the politics, stop being blind, stop hating and hating and hating.......JUST STOP.

So many of us are turning into angry men and women. How long will we allow the foolishness of our leaders and others to continue. When will we stop the hate. When will we......JUST STOP.

The Plausibility Of Change

Change

I'm learning that the plausibility of change in our world seems to be at times, a hopeless, uphill battle. We search for change in the human heart that has grown cold and callous. We search for change in the world where power and greed seem to be the driving force. We look for hope and find despair. We look for love and compassion and find hate.

We are living in a world where we are connected to every event, every word spoken and every voice that seems to enjoy hearing their voice above all others. We've become a world of opinions. We're bombarded everyday with news cast, discussion groups and twitter pages where everyone has something to say. Whether they know the details or what's really going on, they suddenly become the expert. We've learned to let our voice be driven by our minds and supposed intellect and no longer by our hearts of compassion.

All that said, the world hasn't fallen into oblivion yet. There is still hope but the change needs to come soon.

I've learned recently that I'm probably a lot more sensitive to the worlds problems then some. My heart hurts for those dying in a foreign land because of famine, war and disease. My heart cries out against those who only seek power and greed and their own agenda, no matter what the cost. My patience grows thin for those who are so close minded, they never give other's thoughts and opinions a chance.

I find myself constantly searching for ways to make this world a better place, to warm the cold hearts and open the eyes to a world that should be, that could be. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall that's going nowhere.

Through this process, I've become aware that for some, change will never come. They've become so wrapped up in their world of I's and me's, that's all they see. For whatever reason, it just ain't gonna happen.

But for some I have hope. I see so many in the world who want change. Change in their lives and the lives of those around them. I see the compassion in their hearts and warmth in their eyes. When conflict comes their way, they search for balance and an even ground to work through the process. They may not always agree, but they look for ways to react with respect and hope and grace.

I've learned that it may be impossible for one person to change the world, but one person can change one more, then another and another. For those of us who can see our world in a better place, we find that it can only take one person reaching out and hopefully that one spark will ignite a wildfire of hope and compassion, of love and understanding and of peace and brighter days ahead.

We must learn to close our ears to the bickering around us and open our hearts to shine a new light. That even though we may not have it all together and still have our own issues at times, we may still be a light in a darkened world. We must learn that being understanding is more important than being right, that there's more to this world than greed and power. We must learn to let our first words be a smile, followed by hope and compassion. We must realize that there is more to this life than just I or me, that we are one human being in a world of millions. Only then can we see a brighter future of working together. Only then will we learn to speak with a voice of reason and a heart of compassion.

We can see change by taking the courage to first look in our own hearts, then by taking the courage to reach out, one person at a time and only then can we start to see change in the world we live in.

and the Journey Continues.......

Dear Mr. President

As a prerequisite, I'm more than aware that there are many of you who will disagree with what I have to say here, but I hope that you will take this and respect it as my thoughts and refrain from adding your negative comments. There are plenty of other places for that. My comments here apply to the current President as well as every other man that has and will take on the title and the responsibility.
Thanks 
 ______________________________________


Dear Mr. President,

I just wanted to take some time to let you know how much I respect you and the job you hold. No one can ever know what it's like standing in your shoes or carrying the load of burdens you have to bare every day.

You wake up with the weight of the United States as well as the World on your shoulders. Besides having the economy, jobs and unemployed, national security, the environment, immigration, natural and unnatural disasters, and all of the other problems surrounding the United States, you have to worry about wars, terrorist, disease, killing and starvation, and countries that are always plotting against us. And if that isn't enough you have to fight the politics between the two parties, the polls, the constant criticism and the haters.

You constantly come up against a brick wall from the other party when trying to get things done. You have to hear there twist and turns and lies and constant criticism with never the thought of actually trying to work things out. You are always wrong and they are always right. Anything that goes wrong in our country is your fault, not theirs, yet they so easily forget their own transgressions of corruption and dealings with the peoples money and their well being.

If there are problems in the world, it's your fault. If there are terrorist, worry of disease, or wars, are why or why we did or didn't we get involved, it's your fault. You are the barer of everything that goes wrong in the world but never given credit for what good things you have done.

You have to listen daily to the news when you slip up on one word or a phrase. You have to listen to the other party condemning you as well, always using it as an excuse to hide their own bad decisions and inadequacies.

The other party constantly blames you for every thing wrong in our country, forgetting the fact these things were things that you tried to pass through them months ago, ignoring the fact that they wouldn't deal with them, or put then off for another day, or fought you every step of the way for trying to work it out as a bipartisan solution.

I hear constantly that YOU are the President and it's your job to take care of everything the world throws our way, forgetting that congress is suppose to be there to help with these problems and not add to them.. So many listen to every thing the other party states as if it's all true and they wouldn't dare lie to their people.

They forget that YOU ARE ONE MAN, THAT YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN. They so easily ignore this fact and continue to blame and criticize, and hate. They choose to hate because of your party affiliation, your religion or the color of your skin. They chose to hate you the moment you were elected and never tried to give you a chance.

So you, Mr. President, get my complete and total respect. I may not agree with every decision you make but I make sure I look at all the sides fairly and ignore the twisting of the truth, and the lies, and the hatred. I pray for you daily for God's guidance as well as strength for you and the burden you have to bare. Always remember that there are those who wish the best for you and know that you are ONE MAN with the weight of the WORLD on your shoulders..........