In a conversation with a therapist friend of mine, I was enlightened to the magnitude that our past childhood experiences, mentors, expectations, rewards and disappointments, play in our present day life. As we discussed my lack of patience at times in dealing with reckless drivers, slow check out lines and my jumping to first impressions of people before I take a moment to think through the situation, I was asked why.....
Hmmmmmm......uhhhhhh....it's the Virgo in me......or....um.....one of those traits I inherited from one of my parents. But as we talked, I realized those easy answers didn't come close.
Our experiences growing up, where we were criticized, rewarded, punished, praised, put on a pedestal as well as being kicked off.....all have a way of wiring our brains to a certain mindset, a certain outlook on life, a certain way we judge and react.
If we really want to find some answers, we have to look deeper into why the anger screams when someone does something that annoys us.
As I look deeper, I see a life where I was placed on and off of the pedestal way too many times. My childhood was based on my accomplishments, my victories, my awards as well as my failures, my disappointment to others, my not being perfect.....All The Time.
So my perfectionism comes from a process of having to be always great, always having the answers, always being the one to take charge when no one else would or could......not from being a Virgo.......
My anger and irritation of others comes from the expectations set on me, turned around and expected of others, when I feel they don't measure up.....to my standards......Hmmmmmmm.......
So to solve the problem, we have to take a deep, painful look into the old and shattered crevices of our mind, heart and soul, and begin the process of rewiring our brains, letting go of the past notions, hurts, expectations, and learn to live our lives in a new light. We need to realize that no one has the power over us to dictate how we live.....except God, no one has the right to push their attitudes on us simply because they think they are always right, no one has the right to take our joy of living and turn it into a life of disappointment's.....including us..........
As the old song says.....
"My God and I walk in the fields together
We walk and talk as good friends should and do
We clasp our hands, our voices ring with laughter
My God and I walk through the meadow's hue."
As our Strength comes from the Time we spend with God, the challenge ahead can still be a long uphill battle for us all. But given time, and diligence......there is Light at the End of the Tunnel......and Joy Does Come In The Morning...
and the Journey Continues.......
2 comments:
This was interesting, Wynn. Navel-gazing definitely has its place. Each of us must ask those sometimes tough questions of & about ourselves, if we are to ever truly KNOW ourselves & just what makes us tick.
So many of our ways, our secrets, our issues & taboos are formed early & they make the people we ultimately become. Most of what we are is influenced by our environment & our nuturing. Some of this is societal, parental & yes, individual.
I tend to think that most of us are the very same people we were as children, only with tougher & more resilient skins.
One.
I agree Lin, we are older versions of our childhood. As in the discussion with my therapist friend, digging deeper gives us knowledge and answers which open up the doors of infinite changes and possibilities . Thanks as always my friend....
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