Why Wait

The last few months it seems like I've been putting my life on hold.  I've been constantly saying that once things calm down I'm going to make some big changes in my life and start living again......

WHAT

It just hit me how stupid that was.  The Past is Gone, We are not Promised Tomorrow, We Only Have Today.....

I've been wasting so many days waiting on circumstances to change so I could finally start living My Life.  Go Figure.......What's stopping me from living My Life Now.......Hmmmmmmmmm

It's sad that it takes so many of us a lifetime to learn how to Live Life, to Snatch Joy, to Seize the Moment.
It's sad that as the New Year rings in, that's when we decide to make some changes in our lives and usually those changes only last for a few days.

I think it's time to put .........WHY WAIT....... on my computer screen saver so every morning I log on I can remember.......REMEMBER......Now Is The Time, Now Is The Moment to Live Life......

WHY WAIT

                                

My Gift To You

I added a video to my page, "Merry Christmas From Nashville"  as a Special Gift for the Season.   It's one of my songs with photos from Opryland Hotel. Hit the play arrow at the bottom right hand of the box.  Hope you enjoy and May Your Christmas be the Best and Brightest..........
Merry Christmas From Nashville to You and Yours

Love Came Down

This just doesn't seem to be the year for me to really enjoy Christmas.  It doesn't seem to be a time to send Christmas cards, to sing the carols, and light the tree.  The last few months have taken it's toll on a heart already worn out from the long months of watching and waiting and grieving the illness of the one who's strength and endurance has surprised us all.

So I'm going through the motions to a season that seems to come and go so quickly.  The tree is up, the music is playing, the trips to see the best of the best of decorations in Music City have been made and all the photos taken.
The gifts, hmmmm, haven't put much thought in those this year.  So the motions continue.

Even in the cold and frigid world around us, a glimpse, a crack in the darkness begins to break through the sadness, the hopelessness, the grieving.  Through all the kaos, a dim light begins to reveal itself and day by day, moment by moment that light grows brighter and stronger.  Searching to see the source of that light, I begin to see and remember the source of the Spirit of Christmas.  Not in the cards, the music, the decorations.  Not in the lighted trees and glowing candles and children's laughter.  Not from Kris Kringle, Old Saint Nick, Santa Clause,,,,,,,

But.......only from the real Reason Of The Season.......

We celebrate each year because of a miracle that happened on that first Christmas Morning.

Love Came Down.................LOVE CAME DOWN

Wrapped in swaddling cloths and laying in a bed of hay.  A Baby, A Miracle, The Son Of God, God's Love Incarnate.

So year to year, season to season we bring out the cards, the lights, the decorations, the carols to Celebrate That Love.  Those who come to celebrate Christmas for the gifts, the warm fuzzy feeling, Santa Clause slowly grow tired of the Season coming so quickly year after year.....

But......those who have experienced that love, held it close in their hearts, let it fill up their lives and guide their steps come to anticipate the season, long for the hope and peace and rejoice in the celebration...

As I go through the heartache, the sadness, the grieving of my moment on this road, I realize that if the cards don't get sent or the songs don't get song......that's ok.
As long as I remember.....and celebrate the Love that came down that first Christmas......the sadness is replaced by joy, the grief by hope, and the darkness by the Light of that Love......

Remember..........and Celebrate..........and Never Forget......

LOVE CAME DOWN

Scratch...Or...Soar...

Most of us have great aspirations on this Journey of Life.  Whether it's being successful  at what we love the most or being successful  in making the big bucks.  Maybe it's being successful  at making a difference in the world around us or just being successful at finding our place in this world.  One thing is for sure.....if we're scratching with the hens in the chicken house we can't expect to soar with the eagles.

WHAT............

I find myself so many times scratching away but wanting to soar.  I wonder why my life hasn't reached MY expectations until I take a closer look at how I spend my days. 

I've always needed an outlet for some creativity, whether it's writing and playing music or snapping photos and turning them into something special.  Yet too many times I'm so caught up with my online life that I've forgotten how to live MY LIFE.  Too many times I'm caught up with the problems of others and have ignored the gnawing in my stomach that's telling me to LIVE....LIVE....LIVE.  It seems that I'm happy....or unhappy as it may be with the complacency of my reality instead of finding that HUNGER I had in my youth.  That HUNGER that opened up the world to all its POSSIBILITIES,  all of its HOPES and DREAMS.  That knowing that we found our way, accomplished the unexpected and found a peace, a purpose, a uniqueness in this world.

So I have to ask myself again, do I want to SOAR WITH THE EAGLES or scratch with the chickens.  It's a day by day, moment by moment decision, choice, outlook, and lifestyle.  As so many have said, THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL..........

THIS IS IT.........

TODAY I CHOOSE TO SOAR............................

Let It Go

When you're tired and frustrated from the world around you....
Let It Go....
When you've made choices that were as dumb as they come...
Let It Go....
When you've been hurt by family, by friends, by strangers....
Let It Go....
When you've cried tears of grief, tears of loneliness, tears of hurt....
Let It Go...
When those memories from your past come back to haunt you...
Let It Go...
When the anger rages inside you....
Let It Go...
When the world throws stones...
Let It Go...
When you were the good guy and they were so wrong...
Let It Go...
When the abuse of others clouds your mind...
Let It Go...
When the depression tries to bring you down...
Let It Go...
When you've been kicked, robbed and beaten to the ground....
Let It Go...
When you feel you can't take any more...
Let It Go...

In All Things Give Thanks
He Has The Peace That Passes All Understanding

Longing

Longing......
Longing for what we don't have....
Longing for a life we wish we had.....
Longing to fill an emptiness in the soul....
Longing for happiness....for peace of mind....for solace....for love.....
Longing for something we conceive as unreachable, unattainable, unrealistic....

When does that longing become complacency....
When do we lose the hunger to keep reaching, keep climbing, keep growing....
When do we let that longing become disappointment, regret, hopelessness....

We long for a purpose but do we waste away the days....
We long for happiness but do we continue to indulge in our self pity...
We long for the new but do we settle for the old...
We long for a life that seemed to have slipped out of our grasp but do we stop living....

Do we continue to long for a new life but just continue to exist....
Do we continue to look for change but neglect to take the first few steps required.
Do we continue to be unhappy without looking for the the glimmer, the hope......
Do we continue to long in regret or long in the wonder of life......

Long......
Long for Love.....
Long for Life.....
Long for Hope.......
Long for that Moment.......

Longing.....
Acting......
Succeeding.....
Living.....

Choices.......
Choices......
Sometimes circumstances.....
But Still Choices.....

We only have One Life......
One Life.......

Longing.......

Living.....

Choices

Stress

Stress is one of those things that you think you have under control and then it hits you like a brick wall knocking you flat on your back.  To say the least, things have been a bit stressful lately for me and if it has for you I understand how it can consume you at times.

Soooooo ...... I offer a time of stress relief, a time to stop, step back, reflect and regroup.  I've added a new video...."His Eye Is On The Sparrow" by Lauryn Hill to my page and I suggest just turning up the volume, clicking play and setting back and taking a moment for YOU.

All The Best Today

Glare Or Glance

An online friend of mine sends me a daily email with positive words of encouragement, uplifting songs, quotes and sometimes devotionals.  Recently he sent one called Glare Or Glance.  The premise of the message was what we Glare at and Glance at in our lives can determine our outlook, our demeanor and our attitude.  If we Glare at the bad things and Glance at the good, we tend to be more negative and pessimistic in life.  If we Glare at the good things and Glance at the bad, we tend to be more upbeat and positive in life.

As I was rereading my last blog entry on politics, I realized I was Glaring at the negative side way too much and thus my view of politics was extremely pessimistic.  I need to change that. So many times in so many areas of our life we tend to Glare at the bad and Glance at the good way too often. 

My Sister has a friend that when you spend just a little time around him you see how depressed, angry and negative he seems.  He's had some struggles in life as most of us have but he spends most of the day watching a television channel where they constantly show the bad in the world. So many times we dwell so much on the bad that we forget to look at the good.

I have to constantly remind myself to dwell more on the good and not the bad.  As crazy as life gets sometimes I have to remind myself a lot.  Too many times I'm drifting off into space and deep in thought on what's ailing me at the moment.  So I have to snap out of it and remind my self again.  Think Positive, Look at the Good, Don't Worry, Be Happy.....as the song says but a song with a lot of Wisdom.

So as we go through the day.....look at your thoughts.  Look at where you are at and what you are thinking about.  See what You are Glaring at and Glancing at and see if there needs to be some changes. Maybe, just maybe we will all find ourselves seeing the world as a much Brighter Place.

No One Wins

I'm not one to usually bring up politics because everyone has their own opinion and usually it's a strong opinion. I've noticed so much the last few years when it comes to Politics....No One Wins.

I know.... I can be a bit of a pessimist when it comes to Politics....OK...maybe a big pessimist. We hear about the power brokers and power plays on the hill. We see when the Republicans are in charge the Democrats take a stance against them and when the Democrats are in charge the Republicans take the same stance. When there's a Republican President people complain and when it's a Democrat they complain as well.

I do have to say I feel for any man or woman that becomes President in our day and time because no matter how much they try to change things in their eyes for the better....there can be no change with the way politics rule our land. I also think that with the title President we forget that the President is a Human Being. He's Human. He's put in a positing where every word is scrutinized, every slip of the tongue is blasted over all the air ways and when things are not going as we think they should, He gets the blame. How can one man get the blame when the Powers on the Hill move into battle mode on everything he tries with no plan on agreeing and No One Wins.

I wonder if when the creators of the two party system started at the beginning they would have ever imagined the way that system would have turned out today. When did our elected officials change their job description from being elected to pursue what's best for our country to pursuing what's best for their party. When that power struggle begins they wave their flags of victory because in some way or another they think they've won something but No One Wins and the country they work for hasn't got a chance.

I'm disappointed in our government, I'm disappointed in the men and women who make so many promises only to join in the constant struggle on the hill. I'm disappointed that year after year the promises for change only hit a brick wall from the opposing party. We hear some talk of working as a bipartisan congress but sadly the power struggle that has been created will never let that happen. I'm disappointed in the total waist of so much money by so many of those men and women who add billions to the deficit with so many programs that are not worth the paper they are printed on

A Congress of Democrats and Republicans will never let go of their power, never try to put their differences aside, never put their sarcasm and anger aside to actually make some good decisions for our country, our people, our families.  It would be interesting to see if a change could be possible if the Democrats and Republicans in the House and the Senate went to one party.....yep...shocking ....but what would happen if we didn't have to worry about party lines.  When things were up for vote would they vote for what's best for the people  not having to worry about a party . I'm sure there would still be differences as we each have our own opinion on how thing should be done but instead of plotting and scheming to get votes would they actually talk about those differences as we would talk with our friends and keep their eyes on one Goal.....What Would Be The Best Decision For Our Country and It's Citizens.

I guess I must be dreaming because too many times we don't know how to do what's right for our country, we do what we want. We've turned into a prideful people, a greedy people, a people with a lack of understanding, patience, morality and love.

So what is the solution, what can we do, what changes can we make, what influence can we give, what actions and decisions can we make daily to influence those around us to find a way of changing the course of our country's future to the way it was meant to be. Are we going to continue this road where No One Wins or are will we be open to the ideas of coming up with real changes and solutions.

Hmmmmmmm..... I know I get pessimistic when it comes to this,  That's why I don't talk politics much.  Soooooo.... this is my soapbox speech for the year.

Celebration of LIfe

During the last few months I've been working on my Mom's funeral service.  No, she hasn't passed yet but it won't be long.  I've been given a chance to spend some great times with her as well as spend time working on a memorial service for her that she would be honored by.

During the same time I've started reworking my on service.  Yep...I know...maybe a little morbid....but the perfectionist that I tend to be at times, I wanted it to be Done Right.  I had planned a service years ago but ended up using most of the music I picked out for my Parents Memorial Services and the service planned was a little more Somber.

All that has changed.  I've decided my service should be a

Celebration

Celebration of Life

Celebration of Life With God

Celebration of God

Again I add that not all who read this have the same beliefs of God as I do...but it's what I believe.  I want my Memorial service to be a time of Celebrating the Life We Have and Have Been Given.

I have a feeling those who attend my service may be a bit surprised at the music played before and during the celebration......maybe a bit blown away....but that's a good thing.  We need to be taken out of our comfort zone at times to experience all that this world and this life has to give us. My new play list (no longer on my page) has a few of those songs that I've picked so the Prelude to My Life has become a Celebration. If I were alive during this service, I would want to come early just to enjoy the incredible music that will be played.

Soooooo....even in the crazy times of life, the sad times, the frustrating times, the confusing times, the depressing times as well as the good times.....

Lets Celebrate This Life We've Been Given



When Will I Rest

I lay here tossing and turning, tossing and turning, wide a wake, tossing and turning. I close my eyes only to have my mind opened up with all the sadness, all the frustration, all the anger, all of the events of the day rushing through my head. When will it stop, when will I find rest, when will I find peace.........

When Will I Rest.

So many times I've had to shut off my mind, shut off my emotions, shut off my life to be the comforter, to be the peacemaker, to be the one in charge. The day has lingered and my body, my mind and yes my spirit are worn out..........

When Will I Rest.

I've dealt too long with the insanity of others, the anger of others, the sadness of others and yes, the selfishness of others. The walls that I have tried so hard to tear down around my heart, the cold hard bricks that shut out the world and shut me in seems to have been in vein. The more I try to tear down, the more others come to replace them...........

When Will I Rest.

They need me now, they need me to help them through their sadness, their insanity, their pain, their anger, their Journey. They need so much, they need so much. Their need will stop one day, a sad day, a mournful day. They will rest, they will find peace, they will start a new Journey.........

When Will I Rest.

Others seem to rise up to take their place, to need, to find comfort, to find peace and fight me all the way on their journey because of their anger, their insanity, their frustration. They struggle, they cry for help, they look for answers, they look for peace, they look for rest..........

When Will I Rest.

I should lay back down, close my eyes and see if the peace comes, the rest comes, the sleep comes. I should let go of this day of anger, of pain, of insanity and sadness. I should try to let go, to rest, to sleep for tomorrow the Journey continues.

When Will I Rest.

When Will I Rest...................

Mortality

As I write tonight, I write with mixed emotions.  I'll be heading home in a couple of days to spend what may be the last days of my Mom's life.  The last year has been a ride and one I told myself I would stay away from on here....but here I am.....writing.

My Dad passed from pancreatic cancer a year ago, September 23, 2009 and the same week we found out my Mom had liver cancer.  She's been amazingly strong and has survived a lot longer than her doctors predicted but now the pain is increasing and she is needing more and more morphine.

While taking care of my parents, I've always had the ability or.....hmmmmmm....not sure what you would call it but I've always turned off my emotions and took care of the business at hand.  Tonight as I seemed to be having flashes and memories of them through the years and as I look how their lives have come to an end, I've been flooded with a boat load of emotion.  I believe in God, I believe in Heaven and I believe we'll be united some day.  I know everyone reading this has different beliefs but this is what I believe.  Surprisingly I've caught myself being a little angry at God for the way he planned our lives.  I've caught myself thinking, wouldn't it be easier if instead of dying in the body, we just ascended or something.  But I guess that's where the faith comes in.  I have Faith, I Believe but sometimes the struggle is still there.

So we're born, we grow, we live and we die.  Sounds simple but life is so complex.  Some people do a lot of living in that time and sadly some don't.  I think that's why it's so important for me to strive to be a better person, to live a better life.  And yep.... I'm always blowing it one way or the other......but I have to keep trying..... and I have to have Faith.

I've had some really good talks with my Mom the last few weeks and for that I am grateful.  In those talks, she has asked so many times, how did I get here, how did I get like this, this is not how it was supposed to be.  Seems like all I can say to her is you've been given a good life, had some wonderful times and memories and loved and have been loved by an incredible man but our bodies give out and we get old.  It doesn't make it any easier for her or me....but that's how life works.

I guess what I've been learning more than anything lately with so much tragedy in my family as well as so much tragedy around the world  is that we have to take each moment, seize that moment and Live, Love and Laugh often and never.....Never forget to Dance.......

I'm still struggling with keeping my eyes on the good and positive things in life and not dwelling on the sadness and pain but that too....... is part of this Journey Of Life.

Steve McNair

There has been a lot of news in the past few weeks surrounding Steve McNair in the Nashville area and each time I hear it I feel the pain of His Tragic Death again.  I'm re posting a Journal entry I wrote during that time in hopes that maybe, just maybe it will help us to keep striving to take the two sides of our lives and merge them as much as possible into one life worthy of the Gift Of Life we've all been given...................

I just got back from paying my respects to Steve McNair.  Yes an Icon, a Football Hero, a Humanitarian, a Husband and Father, a Life Praised, Honored and Respected by so many.  A Man who was known for His Toughness on the Football Field and for His Heart of Gold when it came to Charities, Helping Young People and being a Role Model in the City of Nashville.  But sadly as so many of us, there were Two Sides to this Well Respected Man.  The other side was a Life where He Battled His Demons, Fought His Humanness and eventually gave in to the Desires that became His Demise.  In loosing sight of His Morality, He lost His Mortality.  Sadly He played with the Fire that would ultimately Burn Him.  This was the side that He would have preferred not to have the world know about but a side that came out in His Death and such a Tragic Death at the Hands of a Girl, So Young, So Distressed and Fighting Her Own Demons as well.


His Death has really touched me and saddened me Deeply.  It also showed how Important it is to Live Our Lives To The Highest Standard.  To Respect Ourselves First, To Respect Our Husbands, Wives and Families, Our Friends and Those Who Look Up To Us For Guidance and to Respect God and His Guidance and Leadership In Our Lives.

Yes....We All have our Demons, Our Battles between Right and Wrong.  I hope we can remember how fragile life can be and Truly Give It Our All and Make Every Moment Count.  And with the Tragic Death of Steve McNair as a Reminder, Keep Our Eyes Looking Up To A Higher Purpose, a Higher Power, a Higer Sense of Morality and Not Let This World pull us down and Take This Preciious Gift Of Life Away From Us.

ME

I Strive to be the Man My Dog Thinks I Am..........Hmmmmmmmm.  I catch myself thinking, I Strive to be the Man My Friends And Family Think I Am.

Some people see this world through Rose Colored Glasses.  I guess I've been looking at it lately through Shaded Glasses.  When I look at myself I usually see the Bad before I see the Good.  I expect more from me and it seems that people see more than I expect.

I suppose we all are harder on ourselves at times.  We know who we are......Really Who We Are.....both the Good and the Bad.  I do forget at times that I AM HUMAN.....and with that comes a multitude of characteristics, some of them definitely Flawed...but that's why they call it HUMAN.  As I strive to be the man I think everyone wants me to be I have to be reminded that I don't have a Giant S on my chest.  I'm not Superman (Thanks Lin for Reminding Me and Being That Friend).  The only one I am really accountable to is GOD and ME.  I don't have to live up to other's expectations, I only have to be the Best That I Can Be and as long as God and I are in a good place then I know I'm on the right track.

It seems like I'm using the ME word a lot and for Me.....that's uncomfortable.  So many times I've been put in the Caretaker roll and have not had much time to worry about ME.  It feels awkward instead of natural and that's not a good thing.

Soooooo....Maybe....I'll learn to quit being so hard on myself.  Maybe....I'll learn to relax and enjoy life more. Maybe....I'll realize I'm not a bad guy after all.  Maybe....Just Maybe....I'll realize I'M HUMAN.

The Journey Begins

We didn't sign up for this life....but you know what....We're here.  We have to learn to roll with the punches or be swept out to sea.  If we think back to the age of 7 or 8, we would have never dreamed we would be where we are now.  Life is a Journey with all its ups and down, twist and turns, struggles and adventures, however we look at it.  Some of what life gives us is purely circumstances, I guess you could call it Providence.  Some of our Journey is based on the decisions we make, whether good or bad, their consequences have a way of catching up with us one way or the other.


My Life......Hmmmmmmm.  I can see so many decisions that have complicated my life so much and yet so much of my life has been dictated by Circumstances or Providence.  Life has shown me my Strengths and Weaknesses. It has shown me how to Hate Life and Love it at the same time.  It has shown me how to be a Professional Survivor and maybe too many times a Complainer as well.  But My Life is My Life.


We all are responsible for how we roll with the punches, how we react to our circumstances, whether we fall down and lay there or get up and fight back.  So this is my journey, my moment to lift up....or complain, to ask questions or wish things were better.  I've always said, Life Is A Journey And The Friends We Make Along The Way Are Its Treasures.  So I invite you along on this Journey and hopefully it will be a time of growth and learning for all of us........