No Regrets

We hear the phrase, NO REGRETS, a lot in our lifetime.

I personally am one of those beings who hang on to my regrets. I let them stew around a while, usually getting upset all over again. The pain, disappointment and anger seems to rise up in my soul every time I revisit one of those moments. I'm realizing more and more that rehashing those past regrets only causes me more frustration.

I used a phrase a lot when I was growing up. RELEASE. A friend in Colorado who had gone through the course of the Sanoma Method, had instilled in my mind to release all the pain, the struggles, the bad decisions and the heartache caused by others. It worked for a while but my mindset soon reverted back to that of regret and worry

We use the phrase, LET GO AND LET GOD, a lot in our churches today. I've used these words a lot as well, to remind myself to do just that.

This brings me back to the concept of NO REGRETS. It's time I remind myself that what is done is done. The accomplishments as well as the bad decisions and bad circumstances were there to mold my character, to learn from and to gain new insights into the world around me. My hanging on to those regrets instills just the opposite. It keeps bringing back the pain and heartache as well as the anger and disappointment. The only way I can really move on and have a positive outlook on the future is to let go of those regrets.

So my change for the new year (as I don't make resolutions, just changes) is to daily remind myself to RELEASE, LET GO AND LET GOD, and live my life with NO REGRETS. Only by letting go of the past, can I find my joy for today and tomorrow.  Only by letting go of the past, can I open up my heart to the life, love and joy that God intended for me to have.

So for today and everyday throughout the year, I will keep those words in my mind and my heart, NO REGRETS, ONLY OPPORTUNITIES, allowing my philosophy of life to change. Allowing my mind and heart and spirit to find a new sense of peace and happiness. Allowing my life to be one of living life, really living life to the fullest.


and my Journey Continues.....

2013, My Journey

2013, a year of accomplishments
A time to finish one project and start a new adventure
A time of too much work and not much play
But a year that opened up new doors beyond my expectations

January began with the goal of finishing my first songbook
The creation of a domain name and the structuring of a logo and a new webpage
www.wynnsongpublishing.com became a reality
And the songbook continued

February encompassed the paper work for the business side
Creating the start up of WynnSong Publishing
Acquiring tax id's and more business forms
And the songbook continued

March brought the completion of a corporation
WynnSong Publishing Company, Inc. was born
Then more business papers to file
And the songbook continued

April became more about the songbook
The details of the cover, the ISBN number
The title, the forward and table of contents
And the songbook continued

May, June and July were filled with hours and hours of editing
Summer went by and all I saw was a computer screen
More paperwork was completed and contracts were signed
And the songbook continued

August was full of trial printings, corrections
More printings and more corrections
And "Songs of the Heart" was finally complete
The first songbook finished and the beginnings of more to come

September was the time to exhale
As the songbook began shipping
The last paper work for the company was done
And weeks of relief and a bit of withdrawal followed

October and November were a bit more relaxed
As changes were made to the webpage and copyright forms were finished
And the work on next book began
As "Whispers Of Life" began to take shape

December was a time to relax the brain and body
To organize and plan for the next adventure
To work on the book of prose and poetry
And finish acquiring the last few items for the home studio

So January 2014 will begin again
A time of finishing "Whispers of Life"
Continuing the next songbook
And the recording of more of the songs

Hopefully I'll have a little more time to enjoy life this year
To take some time for me and life itself
And not just the music or the writing
Hopefully it will be a time of renewal, both spiritually, mentally and physically


as the Journey Continues.....

Life In Music

I had a dream, a good one by chance
Filled with music that was real
Music that was life

Each note and each word
Were filled with more depth
More meaning, more life

It rekindled my fire
My passion was unleashed
To create again the Life In Music

So I start today
No longer just playing notes
Or singing words with out life

Today I will  release my passion
Today my music comes from my soul
Today the sounds and words will breathe life again

The dream showed new meaning
Where hearts were touched and filled
And the Life In Music was revealed

I see the importance of each word and sound
Taking a new meaning all their own
Sharing a special place of Life In Music

About.Me

About.me is a page where people from all walks of life can promote their jobs, or causes, or faiths, or just simply their lives as complicated or simple as it may be.

My about.me page has given me the chance to share my music and my writing to thousands. It basically links every page I have on the web to this one page. It has also given me the chance to share a bit of my philosophy and my belief system of life

It allows me to connect with people from all over the planet, to explore new ideas, expand creative ventures and experience all the cultures the world has to offer. It is truly a wonderful place for the world to meet.

The first of this month I had connected with 10,000 viewers and less than two weeks later, I've connected with 10,000 more. That has allowed 20,000 viewers to hear my music, read my blogs and hopefully be encouraged by my philosophy of life. At the same time, it has allowed me to share a part of their lives as well.

It you haven't checked out about.me yet, you can start by checking out my page at:
http://about.me/Wynnsong

Maybe from there you will have the chance to see other pages and enjoy the diversity and uniqueness that this world has to offer via the internet.

Living Is Giving

Someone asked me this week, at what time in my life was I the happiest. After much thought I realized that it was at a time I felt I really had something to give.

I worked for a company where I was confident and knowledgeable enough to be an expert in my field. Through that knowledge I was able to give advice and suggestions to hundreds on a daily basis. I felt that I had something to give and by giving, I felt alive.

It seems like so many times when asked the question, are we living or existing, we realize we are just existing. When our world revolves around us, we tend to see the world with blinders on. Only when we reach out, do we see the world in a different perspective. When our vision turns inward and we've lost sight of the outside world, we find our life and happiness being depleted. Sometimes I think that living in our own heads can be a curse. Only by living through our hearts, do we learn to live.

When we learn to give back to this world, instead of taking from it, do we find the key to living and not just existing.

Those of us who are Christians learn to realize that if we seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, our life will take the path it's supposed to. That allows our minds the opportunity to let our hearts thrive. But too many times we forget and the mind kicks in, then we try to work everything out our way.

And yes, I'm speaking from experience. Too many times by my trying to work through everything on my own, I see the world through tunnel vision. As I remember back to the time where I felt the most, I find the need to make some changes to rediscover that place. I have to let go of a lot of stuff and relearn how to live and give. Living in faith and giving with love.

Staying on this path seems to be a struggle at times but the more we give, the more we learn to live. First we have to let go and let God to get our lives back on track. Then we have to remember, it's not what we take from this world, it's what we give to it. We have to learn that Living Is Giving and that allows us to live this life with all the joy, respect and purpose we need to truly Live.


and the Journey Continues......

To Dread Or Embrace

It's here again, seems like it just left
But Halloween came and went and now there's Thanksgiving and Christmas
As we've gotten older, it seems as though time has spun out of control
The loop keeps getting smaller and smaller and the year is just a whisper, or a memory

It seems to be a time of Dread, no longer filled with the joy and the sparkle
Where the holiday songs and movies seem to annoy instead of heal
It can be seen in the eyes of so many as it creeps into their hearts
A time where that special warmth has turned cold as ice

There comes a time with each of us, to make our own choice
Whether Christmas is just another day or it's celebrated and Embraced
To find that joy we had as children, the excitement of the lights, the packages, the tree
That seems to have been lost in the clutter of life and the world around us

So we must make our own decision, To Dread or Embrace
To make this time special, or just let it pass us by
If we tend to Dread, we just grumble until it's over
But if we learn to Embrace it, we reconnect with that special magic of our childhood

When we look at the world through carnal eyes we see hype and sales and stuff
But when we remember the Reason For The Season we can once again celebrate the Glory of the Highest
So it becomes our decision to see as a child or an adult
To see the world for what it is, or experience this time with the Holy Child and His Spirit inside

To Dread Or Embrace, to let the world bring us down
Or let His Spirit move us and allow this time of year to be what it's meant to be
To be like children who see the child, the shepherds, the wise men
And be compassionate adults who see more than the shopping and Santa Clause and parties

Can we Embrace the spirit of Love and Joy, can we let the music fill our hearts again
Can we take every moment and turn it into the Gift of Life that it was meant to be
To Dread or Embrace, as one who has felt the loss
This year I choose to Embrace and enjoy every aspect  the season unfolds

"So let us all be like children
Whether we're one or ninety five
and at Christmas time Lord help us all
To laugh like children, love like children....this year...."

10,000 Views

I'm in amazement as I get close to 10,000 views of this blog. The thought of so many, from all over the world, taking the time to stop and read about my Journey of Life, is mind blowing.

This page has given me an opportunity to work through the pain of some difficult times in life and to find answers to those struggles. It has let me share my desires for a better world, filled with more hope and love and less division and hate. Hopefully it's allowed some to see that we are not alone in our struggles and that we can work together to find some answers and encouragement.

I've been fairly transparent in my writing, revealing some of the deeper parts of my soul. So many times in life, I've been put me on a pedestal because of what I do or who I am. But by revealing my ups and downs, my strengths and my weaknesses, I hope we can see that no matter where we are or what walk of life we come from and experience, we are all equal. We may have different lives and different circumstances but none of them make us any worse or any better than anyone else. The only thing in life that defines us is our character. A character that is developed my our decisions, our shortcomings and our achievements and how we worked through each experience. We may have failed or we may have succeeded but as long as we learned and grew, do we find our true self.

I know all to well how hard life can be and at times, incredible as well. I know that no one can really know a persons heart without living every moment in their shoes. I know that it doesn't really matter what I say or do unless it comes from my heart. I know that I have a long way to go in this life to come close to getting it right. But as long as I'm learning from my choices and my mistakes I can change and make a difference.

So as I come to 10,000 views from so many blog entries, I hope I can continue to share and enlighten, to encourage and to be real, and to learn and maybe inspire. And from these life lessons learned, I hope we can all get closer to becoming

What We Wish The World Would Be.


and the Journey Continues......

If I Could

If I could remove all the hate in the world
I'd replace it with love
If I could remove the sadness
I'd replace it with joy

If I could take away all illness
I'd give everyone a clean bill of health
If I could take away all loneliness
I'd greet everyone with true friendship

If I could take away bias and bigotry
I'd replace it with brotherhood
If I could remove politics
I would replace it with One Nation Under God

If I could prevent all killings
I'd give new hope to the world
If I could take away addictions
I would replace it with purpose

If I could remove just existing
I would fill the void with passion
If I could take away all grief
I'd replace it with strength

If I could make this world a better place

But wait, I can

I may not be able to change it all
But I can make a difference

I can make each breath a perfect example
One act of kindness, one word of encouragement
One smile, one hug, one gesture of hope
If I start, others will follow


and the Journey Continues.......

Insecurities

I'm probably the most insecure person I know. Yep...it's true. But then again, unless I really take the time to look deeper at those around me, I'll never know.

I've always been shy, never wanting to make a scene or say something stupid. In a crowded room you will find me in the corner, not speaking unless spoken to. I catch myself not going to certain events simply because they take me out of my comfort zone. Yep....insecure....

When I am performing or talking before a crowded room, I'm just the opposite. I'm at ease and comfortable in my surroundings. I usually don't have the nervous jitters that some do when being put in the spotlight. When I'm put in a situation of needing to be in control, I'm in control. My business side takes over and I make sure things get done. But when I'm not in the spotlight, I'm as shy as they come.

While trying to break out of this mold, so to speak, I've done a lot of soul searching as to why. Looking back to my early years in Junior High and High School, I think those insecurities began to manifest. I was not one of the In Crowd so to speak, just a bit of a nerd and class clown. Talking with people who knew me back then, they say I was always smiling and energetic. Outwardly, maybe so, but inwardly it seemed like everything I said was not heard or not taken seriously. So my insecurity began.

College life seemed to be easier. It was a new beginning where we all had a fresh start with people, places and experiences and where my confidence grew. Returning home after graduation, I found a comfortable place because of my music, always performing in one way or another, always working toward a goal.

Moving on to the bigger city and becoming part of a Christian Rock Group also added to my confidence. But things were changing at home, with family. Every time I returned home, those dreaded feelings took hold again. It became easier to sit quietly and let others do the talking. Family problems seemed to take precedents over my circumstances, my cares and concerns. I found myself living more and more inside my head instead of living in the real world.

Moving to an even bigger city brought more experiences and yep....more insecurities. Working for large music companies was extremely rewarding as well as challenging. Being around artist and record and publishing executives was a chance of a lifetime, but at times brought back those feelings of doubt. Those old High School memories came back, not wanting to make a scene, not wanting to say something stupid.

There have been times since then that I've had to take control and make the decisions concerning the outcome of a lot of people. When life throws it's punches, especially where family is concerned, we seem to find our true character. But as my business side kicked in, more walls came up around my inner self.

So where am I today....still insecure and shy. I've been lucky enough to find outlets in my music as well as my writing. I've taken the courageous steps to start a new company, to start living my dreams, but I still find myself sitting quietly in a room full of people or not taking in certain events.......simply because of those insecurities.

Maybe I'll break out of that mold someday. Then again, maybe I've been in this way too long. The moral of this story.....learning that no matter how we outwardly appear to the people around us, we never know what lies beneath the skin until we take a deeper look, or take the time to ask. To make the effort to Really See........


and the Journey Continues.......

Freedom

We are a nation of Freedom, but what is Freedom...

Our founding fathers wanted us to have the right of freedom of religion, separation from Church and State. They had the vision of making sure that the government would not dictate what religion we choose.
That's it, plain and simple. They wanted us to have the freedom to choose our own religion and to be able to express it freely.

They gave us freedom of religion and freedom of speech so that we could express our religious views freely and worship the way we wanted. If we want to pray at a ballgame for protection of our team or pray publicly for our government, we were given that right.

It saddens me that a few have chosen to misinterpret the meaning of  separation of church and state. Our founding fathers were a Godly group of men who knew that the only way our country could survive was to have a strong faith in God, as well as give each of us the freedom to express that belief.

When a group of people come together to pray, that's their right, their freedom. If someone does not want to be a part of that prayer, that's their right, their freedom. But when they try to stop them from praying, they are blocking their rights, their freedom.

Our country has a habit of letting people that supposedly are politically correct, distort and tarnish our freedom. If a group choose to have a prayer before a ballgame on school grounds, it's not going against separation of church and state, it's allowing them to express their faith. The few who don't want to pray have the freedom to not participate but they don't have the right to stop others from expressing their beliefs.

I think we've let this travesty go on too long. We've let big money groups dictate how and when we can worship and express our faith. We've let the few who misinterpret the original meaning of separation crush the backbone of our country.

When will we get it right. When will we realize that by prohibiting our freedom of religion, we've sent our country into a downward spiral. When will we realize that allowing a Jewish menorah on capital grounds is no different that putting a Nativity Scene. When will we realize that talking about Islam in school rooms is no different than talking about Christianity. When will we stop letting the few prevent the freedom of the multitudes.

The more I see this travesty, the more my heart breaks. We were founded on freedom of religion but we allow that freedom to be stripped away day after day. When will we take a stand. When will we get it right.

If You Really Knew Me

If you really knew me, would you like me
If you could see inside my heart and soul
If you could see the arrogance, the anger, the darkness


So many feel the solitude
We see our world from our point of view
We see the things we do and feel

We do what we wish we wouldn't
We don't do what we know we should
We can't seem to get it right most of the time

We feel the loneliness when in a crowd
The complacency in tragedy
We forget how to feel

We focus so much on us
We forget to turn our eyes upward
We forget there is hope in Jesus

We spiral down to the bottom
Seeing only the sides of the barrel
Forgetting to look up to the light

We look so much at the darkness
It becomes our way of life
We give in to the struggle


If you really knew me, would you like me
Do I like me
Do I feel like a failure

Let me see my life
Let me see my world
As though I were looking through Your eyes Lord


If we would look at the world through His eyes
Realize that we are more than what we think
That we are a child of God

If we could let go of the defeat
Let go of the darkness and look into the light
Would we like what we see

Can we change and find our way
Maybe not, but God can
For He is the God of possibilities

Surrendering to His Love
It seems so hard
Until we just let go

"Songs of the Heart"

"Songs of the Heart"
The first songbook
Finally completed

With the encouragement and support of so many
I give a big Thank You to you all

I hope the songs will inspire and bless
As it gives me an excitement and anticipation of more to come

Wynn


order info:  http://wynnsongpublishing.com/Order_Info.html

Turning 59

Turning another milestone,
Completing my 59th year on this journey of life
Starting my 60th year with all the challenges and adventures ahead

Where I've been and what I've endured
The joys, the loves, the trials, the tragedies
Each breath taken, molding me into what I've become

Am I where I thought I would be at this time
I have no clue

So many years go by when we rely on our youth
That energy and drive that comes so much easier when we're young
So many accomplishments

But as age sets in, we seem to slow down, settle in, become comfortable

My 59th year was one of a new purpose
A new chapter in my life
One dreamed of, but unsure of the reality of it happening
Or how it would turn out
But it did

I look back on the last few years with a sense of pride
How I've overcome, how I've endured
And as a butterfly coming out of a cocoon
I've found new wings to fly higher and farther than before

I continue to learn and relearn the lessons of life
And learn again
My life isn't perfect
But it is my life

As my journey continues in this 60th year
I may be a little older, a little worn down
Maybe a little wiser, maybe not
But stronger and more seasoned

The face I see in the mirror looks a little odd
But I'm still here to look at that reflection
And know
I am a survivor


and the Journey Continues.......

A Change Of Plans

When a family goes through trials, it changes things. The feelings, the memories, all seem to take their toll on us. As time tries to cover us with a soothing balm, we still have moments where the wounds feel raw and fresh. So I write to find a way of letting go, of accepting what was, and looking toward the future with new hope and anticipation of the plans that were and will be again.

*******************

The last few years I spent with you
Were nothing like I planned, we planned
The golden years were supposed to be kind
The highlight of a life filled with so much wonder
But it didn't happen that way

They seemed more like the angry years
Filled with heartache and pain
Dependencies and co-dependencies
Used to cover up the unhappiness
To ease the physical ailments

We were supposed to get along
You wanted to be at home and be content
To be as strong and young as you thought you were
Not expecting so much physical problems
Spending your last years in a room, that wasn't home

The phone calls, the visits, all so strained
Not understanding the why's and why not's
Not seeing things the way they were
But feeling betwayed, held captive
Dreams and hopes stolen

Trying to keep life going
Trying to smooth the pain
Dealing with so much family
So selfish and destructive at times
Nothing like I planned, we planned

The last few years took it's toll
On you, on us, on so many
A family that lost it's way
Forgetting what was supposed to be
Only seeing what was not

The pain stills shows it's face at times
Even though you're gone
The actions and reactions of those years
Changed us all, took away so much
Only showing glimpses of joy

We were supposed to enjoy those years
A family, full of hope, and happiness, and love
But that life never revealed itself
What should have been, was stolen away
Leaving only regrets and scars

As hard as it was, I have to remember
It was and is in God's hands
I have to let go of the regrets and scars
And even though it was nothing like I planned, we planned
I have to rely on my faith

The sadness still creeps in at times
The why's and why not's
Time to let go
To take what was learned
And live again, the way it was planned

PPD

When a big event happens to us
When we've spent so much time and energy getting there
When we come to the conclusion
That finished product, or final performance
When we reach that mountain top
It's so easy to slide deep into the valley

PPD, postpartum depression
And event that seems to hit so many
After so many accomplishments
Mountain tops and life changing events
Some get caught up in the battle and loose
Others regain their composure and move forward

Through out the years, I've hit this place
Finishing a major musical work
A final performance
A task completed
So much time and energy
Dropped, stopped, let go

We all have moments like this
A mother with the birth of a child
A soldier coming back from war
An artist finishing a song, a painting, a dance
So much for so long
Coming to a complete stop

We know there is still more to come
That the task at hand has changed
Been redefined
But sometimes the sudden stop
Spirals us down
To a deep, dark place in our mind

So I offer two songs
"The Motions" and "Blink
To remind us that each day is special
That we must move on to the next level
That the completion of one is the beginning of another
That we can start afresh, climbing up from the valley to a new peak on our journey...

and the Journey Continues.....

Perspective

Life, full of so many amazing moments, so many tragic as well
Each day we are confronted with all that life brings on this journey
So many unexpected joys, so many heart changing events

It's easy for us to get caught up in the conflict, the worry, the pain, and yes the anger.
Sometimes the dark side of life has a way of hiding the joy along the way
We see sickness, death and tragedy
We ask why, why us, why them, why now

But everyday we see the miracle of life
The workmanship of God all around us
The awe inspiring wonder and beauty
Things that put life in Perspective

Perspective, balance, understanding

It's hard to understand the deep pain we feel with loss
The anger we feel when people disappoint us
When leaders seem to be moving in the wrong direction
When we don't understand why the world is in such turmoil

That's when we have to step back
And put life in Perspective

If we look at the world with all it's darkness
And miss out on the joy along the way
We've forgotten one Basic of life

God is in control

He knows all, He knew all from the beginning of time
He knew the conflict and the joy that we all go through
He knew exactly what the past, present and future would hold

How Great Is Our God

When we come to the realization that everything is working out according to His plan
The way He knew it would and will be
We find our Perspective

It's easy to get caught up in the things of this world
To be sucked under by the currents of defeat
It's easy to loose sight of our Faith and our God
But when we realize that it's all according to His plan
We find our peace and comfort, our hope and understanding

I've been to the lowest of valleys
I've been to the mountain tops
I've felt the deepest of sadness and pain
I found the glimpses of joy
I've lost track of my Perspective so many times
But my faith brings me back to Him

"Have faith in God when your pathway is lonely
He sees and knows all the way you have trod
Never along are the least of His children
Have faith in God, have faith in God

Have faith in God when your prayers are unanswered
Your earnest plea He will never forget
Wait on the Lord, trust His word and be patient
Have faith in God, He'll answer yet

Have faith in God in your pain and your sorrow
His heart is touched with your grief and despair
Cast all your cares and your burdens upon Him
And leave them there, oh leave them there"
                                      B. B. McKinney


and the Journey Continues........

Angry People

As a preface to this, the Hate of the world seemed to jump out at me this week in so many ways. I remember a friend of my sister that constantly watched a particular Christian station where they constantly criticized with hate and anger. They showed no love, no life, just gloom and doom. God is the light of the world, not the darkness. When we allow our hearts to be filled with that darkness, we loose sight of His light and love.
_______________________


We are an Angry People
We are a turbulent lot
We spew hatred and lies
We gossip and deceive

We hide behind our religion
We say it's our right
We use the name of God
We hate, we scream, we kill

We once had a heart filled with love
We wanted to let peace have it's chance
We wanted our children to have a better world
We wanted the best that life had to offer

But, we listened to the voices around us
We believed every word they said
We didn't care if it was lies
We didn't care if it really didn't make sense

We shut out the voice of God
We closed our hearts to His love
We became an Angry People
We grew cold, and callous, and cruel

We turned our religion and politics into a weapon
We as Christians, as Muslims, as atheist
We as Democrats, and Republicans, and Independents
We criticize, we judge, we hate

When will we listen to His voice
When will we shut out the soothsayers
When will we show compassion
When will we remember how to get along

When will we listen to our own words
When will we look deep inside our own hearts
When will we stop the Hate
When will we find a better way

"Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of truth thou hast for me
Open my heart, illumine me
Spirit Divine"

Living In Our Own Skin

Living in our own skin
Filled with our hopes and dreams, pain and conflicts
We live and breath, we laugh and cry
We struggle, we love, we find joy, or not
Living the life we've been given

Our skin may be white, or black, or somewhere in between
But only we know what it feels like
Others may give haughty replies of how we should feel
How we should live and think,
But only we know what lies within

Some let their arrogance dictate their actions
Living their lives, feeling the world revolves just for them
Whether their skin is white, or black, or somewhere in between
They put more self worth on what they think and do
Judgmental, close minded, selfish, critical

But who are we to judge, to criticize
Why do we focus on the splinter in our brothers eye
And ignore the beam blocking our own vision
Why do we try living in their skin
When we struggle to live in our own

Are we not all one family
Whether our skin is white, or black, or somewhere in between
Are we not all made of flesh, and bone, and blood
Are we not all a child of our maker
Are we not one person among millions

Life is what we make it
Whether it's a failure or success, it's our life
We are held accountable for what we do
How we deal with the struggles, the victories, the journey
We have to find a place where we are comfortable in our skin

But we should find a way to be comfortable with others as well
With humility, and love, and understanding, and acceptance
We should be open to their point of view
As well as understanding the whys and why nots of our own
Realizing each of us are unique and special, with purpose and worth

Whether we walk to our own beat
Or blend in with the crowd
We each have to find our own path
With humility, and love, and understanding, and acceptance
Whether our skin is white, or black, or somewhere in between

Been A Bit

It's been a bit since I've had time to write here. My journey has definitely been interesting lately.

The Business:
I've been challenged more than I could have imagined but it's been a great learning process and I've been up for the challenge. Knowing what I know now....would I have ever started it.......yep.....
Does the stress get to me at times.....yep.....but it's all part of the process. And even with so much involved, so many decisions and so much to learn....it's a good feeling.

The Emotions:
The last few weeks have had more than their share of sadness. One friend diagnosed with a life threatening cancer. One friend who's Dad suddenly passed. One friend's struggle with cancer, so courageously fought, slowly loosing the battle. So many other friends and acquaintances having their own loss and struggles. Sometimes the emotions can be a bit overwhelming.

The Songbook:
So close to a reality, a finished product, a feeling of accomplishment. Knowing it's the first of more to come but like a first love, it will hold a special place in my heart. Along with the joy, comes the sadness of some of those who were so close to me, not being here to celebrate. But knowing in some way, they are here reveling in the moment with me.

The Joy:
Finding joy has always been and still is a struggle for me. Too many times I look at this world through Glasses Darkly. Seeing the darkness, the anger, the frustration before I see the peace, the love and yep.....the joy. But as life progresses, my quest to open up to a happier place always continues, my search to enjoy the small moments as well as the big, is never ending. My attitude adjustment is ever evolving, turning those Glasses Darkly, into rose colored, filled with light and life.

My Life:
There is a new purpose there, a new challenge, a new place in the sun. There are still days where my body kicks me hard and my emotions are drained dry. But with each new day, each new task, I'm learning to find more balance in my life.

The Journey:
Life is a journey, filled with ups and downs, the good and the bad, the joy and the sadness. But that's what makes the journey unique. When we learn to embrace every aspect of life, then we can learn to live it to it's fullest. And when we add God into the factor, the journey is complete.

Songs of the Heart

Eight simple songs
Music from the soul, Songs of the Heart
A project that was started eight years ago
With a completion date of a couple of months
But life has a way of changing our time table
Family changes and events
Putting life on hold
And projects on the back burner

Eight years of being the caregiver
The responsible one
Making decisions and facing challenges
Dealing with the weight and the stress
Filling a youthful face with lines of worry
Stripping the mind of a little bit of life
Hidding the joy
Creating a deeper disposition and character

But as the trying times ceased
The burdens were lifted somewhat
Clearing the mind and relieving the stress
Allowing the project to continue
The time table to resume
But with a new urgency
A new learning process
A purpose fulfilled

Eight simple songs
Music from the soul, Songs of the Heart
The first of much more to come
Opening new doors of sharing
Creating expressions of life
Leaving a bit of history
A small legacy
A new chapter on this Journey of Life

Angel

His face was that of an Angel.....Kitty Angel that is. White hair, blue eyes, with a demur that was as sweet as his face.

He had a bit of a peculiar tail, a little stubby, a little knotted, but it made him unique.

He grew in stature and became a strong presence on the porch. He let his presence be known, silently but sternly.
                                     

He lived a life fulfilled, raising a family, having a great camaraderie with his buds, living a life carefree and happy.

But as time went by, his age and too many cat fights began to catch up with him. He was overpowered by a more dominant rival, receiving deep gashes on his side and scrapes on his body. He never complained, never faltered, continuing his dominance on His porch. But the wounds were to deep. Getting around was a struggle as the frailty of his body increased.

He came home for one last meal and a few moments of love and care, then slipped away under the porch, slipping into sleep, finding his peace..........

The Music Of My Soul

I sit at the keys, placing my hands gently
Pressing down, the chords rings out
The harmony and dissonance, all taking their place
Tempered to perfection, revealing the music of my soul

A journey with a beginning, an ending uncertain
A memory from my past, a place where I've been
It slips through my fingers and flows across the keys
Like waves on the ocean or a gentle breeze

As my heart strings are unlocked by the sounds, the memories
Every breath taken, every moment realized
The Opus of my life, the Sonata of my most private thoughts
Becomes a new creation, becomes a witness, a testimony of life

So I sit reminiscing, letting it flow through the keys
The emotions from my past, my present, my future
All  find their way entwined into moments of sound
Tempered to perfection, revealing the music of my soul

Generations

We were the generation that would change the world
Fresh out of High School, on to College
The future was ours to claim, it was our destiny to Be......really Be......

We would be the ones to solve the worlds problems, to make our world a better place
We would rise up to our dreams with all the gusto we could muster
We were the generation of hope and peace and love

But time has a way of flying by too quickly and complacency becomes our norm
Our dreams become distant memories
We become comfortable, loosing the drive, the passion

Some from our generation have passed too quickly,
Reminding us how short life can be
Reminding us that there is only one chance to make it right

Some can say that life was good
God blessed them with a life worth living
Helping them to find their purpose, their place in the world

But when we look in the mirror and see a reflection of who we've become
We wonder what happened to our youth
We wonder if there is more to accomplish, more we can do

We see a new generation of youth and energy and joy
Their future stretching out before them with limitless possibilities
Knowing they, have the ability to change the world

We pray for their safety and give them guidance when we can
We hope their dreams become a reality
That their days ahead are void of complacency

But wait........
We were the generation that could change the world
We were the ones with hopes and dreams and possibilities

Can we still rise above the norm
Can we shine a light on a confused and angry world
Do we still have the chance to Be....really Be....

The time has come to let go of the dark side, the gossip, the backbiting, the complaining
The jumping on the band wagon of every voice that spews anger
We can be a positive force and make things right

We can still be the dreamers of dreams
The good in the world, the voice of reason
The voice of hope

We are a generation to be reckoned with
It's time we took a deeper look and see what we've become
and discover the contributions we can still make

With every word, we have the chance to change the world
It's our choice to become, to rise up and be a generation that stands tall and proud
A generation that takes life to a higher standard, to a higher purpose

We can be
But we must be the one
We must make the change

We must "Be Who We Wish The World Would Be"

The Quiet

Sitting in the solitude
The noise finally cut off
The trials of the week subdued
The pain in the heart eased
The moment we've longed for
Alone in the quiet

Times like these are rare
In a world of so much chaos
A chance to sit quietly
To reflect, to pray, to relax
To take the time we need
To enjoy the quiet

We rush so much with activities
So much to do, so little time
Life seems to shout at us
Louder and louder
So we turn off the noise
We find rest in the quiet

God whispers to us
At these special moments
Too often we tune Him out
Too often we don't make time
He has so much to say
When we allow Him in the quiet

So we pray, we talk, we share
We let Him comfort us
Instead of calling out to Him
Only in times of our need
We just sit and listen
In the peacefulness of the quiet

"Why worry when we can pray
Trust Jesus, He'll be our stay"
A hymn of old and truth
He wraps His arms around us
Giving hope, and strength, and love
When we share our time with Him, in the quiet

The Colors Of Life

Kaleidoscopic colors
Changing shapes and form
Swirling around us
Searching for the norm
The colors of life, ever changing

We reach for what we know
Grasping, as if through ashes
Tired of all the conflict
Worn down from the woes
Longing for what we once had

Life doesn't stand still
It doesn't wait on us
We must keep up
Or fall and wither away
The colors of life, ever changing

Sometimes we question why
Sometimes we forge ahead
We only have today
This moment of reality
What we do, where we go

We splash colors on a canvas
Full of shadows and light
Our past fills in the lines
Our hopes define the finishing touch
The colors of life, ever changing

The picture will portray this moment
Hopefully it will have places of light
Our challenges, our dreams
All casting their shadows
Colors of purpose being revealed

At this moment with brush in hand
The colors are mixed and ready
The first stroke a beginning
And with each touch we find our image
The colors of life, ever changing

The Sadness

The sadness still lingers
Hurting so deep, like a knife cutting into my flesh
The pain engulfs me
The clouds of depression consume

The turmoil rages
A fight for hope or despair, faith or defeat
The battle for life or death
Of prayer and resolve

It's a test of my faith
Letting go and letting God, finding victory in Him
Knowing my fear comes from the world
And my joy comes from above

The answer is there
But the battle continues, eating at my soul
Deflating, draining, persisting
Such a struggle to trust

So I lift my eyes to God
I give Him the burden, the pain inside
For He is my stronghold
He is my peace

I acknowledge my weakness
I confess my fear, the struggle
I lift my eyes to the Almighty
For there lies the rest for my soul

Tragedy

When tragedy hits so close to home
We sit numbly
Our mind racing, pondering, worrying,
We want to cry, maybe we will

When tragedy hits so unexpectedly
We sit lifelessly for a moment
The sadness overwhelms
We want to cry, maybe we will

When tragedy hits, again
We wonder how we can make it, again
Feeling the weight, pulling us deep
We want to cry, maybe we will

When tragedy hits, we look for hope
We want to hear good news
We want to be strong
We want to cry, maybe we will

When tragedy hits, it's not about us
They are the ones who have so much ahead
So much uncertainty
They want to cry, maybe they will

When tragedy hits, we try to adjust
We try to accept
We look to God for strength
We want to cry, maybe we will

When tragedy hits, all seems so lost
We adjust to survive
We want to be there for them
We want to cry, maybe we will

Less Of Me, More Of You

My last couple of weeks have been filled with an incredible amount of stress as I've worked through several business situations. I've caught myself in a bit of a panic at times, before I had a chance to think through the process. Having a lot on my plate, I found myself running in several directions at once.  It hit me this morning that I had slipped back to the habit of trying to do it all.......myself.

God did some whispering in my ear and reminded me of the words to a couple of my songs:

"Lord be the Lord of all I am and Lord of all I can be."

and

"You oh Lord, You are the comfort of my days, the leader of my ways, You are my God"

I realized it was time for Less of Me and More of Him.

Concerning myself with so many details and things to do, I had pushed God out of the equation. I was putting all of the weight and worry on my shoulders, forgetting that God was there to lighten my load. Was there to ease the stress and fill me with some much needed peace and rest.

So this morning I re invited God to walk through this day with me. I thanked Him for lifting me if I should fall. I praised Him for His direction in my life. I reminded myself that "He is the Lord of all I am and Lord of all I can be".I asked for forgiveness for my narrow mindedness and forgetfulness concerning His presence.

Tomorrow I will start the day again with the prayer, Less of Me, More of You......


and the Journey Continues........

Until We See The Faces

The world spins faster and faster
Blurring the view, softening the edges
Reality has become an afterthought
Pain has been numbed by too much input

Life has become an intellectual thought
Void of the heart
We see tragedy, we see death
We see heartache

But, until we see the faces
Until we hear their stories
Do we open our hearts
To the loss and pain or the hope and triumph

Our world is about us
Our family, our friends
We find our joy when we can
And go through our trials when they come

We slip into our own mind
Becoming callus at times
Allowing the world to ricochet away
Like stones across the water

But, until we see the faces
Until we hear their stories
Do we open our hearts
To the loss and pain or the hope and triumph

Even in the face of tragedy
We tend to shield our emotions
We keep our hearts closed tight
So we don't feel, so we don't feel

Some embrace life completely
Open to it's warmth, it's love
Some have built tall fences
With only their story inside

But, until we see the faces
Until we hear their stories
Do we open our hearts
To the loss and pain or the hope and triumph

The Complexity of Thought

It drifts
moment to moment
from shallow to deep

Moved by the tide of our emotions
giving us freedom
or turmoil

It pulls us to deep caverns
or drops gently
light as a feather

The mind
the complexity of thought
our thoughts

Sometimes it spins
windmills turning
in variation and speed

Sometimes surrounded by darkness
covered and cold
depleted of life

It can soar like a balloon
high above the landscape
free and uninhibited

Our thought
our mind
our soul

It defines us
setting us free
or holding us back

Reflecting in color
or black and white
or shades of gray

Revealing
both private and translucent
keeping the scales of balance

The mind
the complexity of thought
our thoughts

We Dream

We sit quietly in the shadows
Those private places
Where our thoughts run free
Where our emotions are allowed
We Dream

We look into the light
We see the possibilities
Full of hope and full of life
We search for courage and strength
We Dream

We are dreamers
But locked in our corners
Held back by our weakness
Searching for confidence
We Dream

We look at the obstacles
We see the boundaries
We gaze at the mountains ahead
We want to reach out
We Dream

We know the challenges we face
But we hear that voice inside
We must stand up and walk
We must act now
We Must Dream Out Loud

The time has come
To fulfill our destiny
To change our course
To make a stand
To Dream Out Loud

Taking A Break

I'm taking some time off of here to reconnect to the lighter side of life. Looking to lift a bit of the weight and snatch a little joy. I'll catch up with you soon........

How Easily We Forget

Life is a blessing, a gift from God, a unique journey, one that only we can experience for ourselves. It can last for years or it can be taken in a moment, much too early. It's a journey that seems to start way too slow. We try to speed up that life so we can be......grown up. So we can  be an adult, doing the things we so long to do. Then when we become that adult, we want things to slow down. Life seems to be passing by way too fast.

For some of us, it's really....really hard to grasp how precious each and every day is. We constantly look forward to events in the future. Events that we just can't wait to experience. We'll go for days looking ahead, letting time slip by..... unnoticed.

Some of us are made aware of the limits of time and space when we hit an abrupt turn in the direction of our lives. Sometimes it's from the dreaded news of an illness, or cancer, or a devastating accident. It's in those moments, we become aware of the value of life. For some of us time screeches to a halt. For others, it's the motivation to take one day at a time and savor each moment, to really recognize the awesomeness of life. But as we overcome the obstacle and our health improves, we seem to forget what we've learned about living.

This comes from one who has experienced both. My twist in the road came eighteen years ago with the diagnoses of cancer. Surprisingly there was not a feeling of fear, even though I was given six months to a year. But the importance of living each moment and enjoying each breath was magnified ten fold. I learned to take each day and recognize it as a gift from God.

As the chemo, radiation and medication improved my health beyond all expectation, I caught myself slipping back into that old mindset. I started letting circumstances and trials consume me and diminish my ability to enjoy and savor life. It surprised me How Easily I Forgot.

So I look to remember, striving to regain that lifestyle of living life. You would think it wouldn't be that difficult, but at times it is. The world and all it's woes can zap the life out of us. We constantly look for the silver bullet that will get us back on track. Sometimes we try so hard to live, we forget how to live.

One answer I've found is to learn how to give. Buy giving of ourselves, our love, our time and talents, we learn to become a part of the world around us. We become a participant, not just a bystander.

One answer is in finding the Joy of the Lord as our Strength. By walking in his ways, we find a new purpose in life. We see so many who don't take that walk, live their lives just existing, finding little happiness and joy, watching the days go by with no reason or rhyme.

One answer is to realize that this too shall pass. We learn that things have a way of working out at times. We learn that when we are weak, He is Strong.

We find when we forget to live, we have to stop and take a breath, to put things back in perspective, and remember how important and happy life can be if we'll learn to let it.

None of us have all the answers. We have to find what works for us. But in giving and sharing, by walking in faith and seizing each moment, we can find what we've lost....and found....and lost again. If we open our eyes and our hearts and become a participant in the world we live in, we can renew the purpose, and spirit and life that we seek. We can live, however long or however short and know that life had meaning. That we lived with grace. That the door of opportunities and adventures and life were always open for us to walk through. And if we forget, we can lift our eyes up to heaven.....and learn again.


and the Journey Continues......

Blogging

Blogging is something I never expected to be doing. With so many bloggers out there, sharing their family activities, their interest, their faith, and their own uniqueness, I never thought I would be one of them.

My blogging started as a form of therapy. It was my way of putting my struggles, as well as my triumphs into words, to understand them better. By verbalizing my thoughts, I was able to get a more concrete picture of my experiences and a better understanding of what was and is happening in my life and learning from that process. 

I'm not the best wordsmith, when it comes to writing. I'm not one who has an answer for the tough questions or even the easy ones at times. I'm not the Dear Abby when it comes to advice. I don't get things right, most of the time. I'm just me.

By blogging, I can see who I am and learn from that knowledge. I can get a view from the top of what life has thrown my way and the road I've traveled. I can hopefully learn from my mistakes and face the challenges ahead with a bit more wisdom and experience. I can draw my strength from past failures and victories. When I make the wrong turn, I can pick myself up and start the process again. When I fail, I can realize that I'm only human and that's OK.

My writing can be taken with a grain of salt. Others may not agree with me and may think I'm too critical, too preachy, or not too bright at times. Sometimes I may come across as too negative or too open about things. I'm just me.

So as I learn, I hope others can learn. As I grow, I hope others can grow. When I fall, I hope it helps others to understand something about their own lives and find solutions to work through their own rough times. I hope I can be a small spark of hope and understanding. 

I hope someone will find some encouragement as I continue this Journey Of Life.......

Arrogance

Driving down the road this week, I caught myself angry and frustrated at the drivers around me. They were shooting in and out and yep, going the speed limit. My impatience and frustration began to grow and my anger was heating up.

I've been working on having more patience when I drive, but it's been a slow process. When I feel the anger stirring, I take a few deep breaths and slow down some. But today, it finally hit me.

My frustration wasn't coming from those around me, it was coming from my own arrogance. Yep, when I'm driving, I expect everyone to get out of my way because I'm on a mission. This is my trip, my road and you need to move it..

Wow, what an epiphany. We all get frustrated at drivers that don't use their signals, or talk or text and drive. But I finally realized that this was something deeper........My Arrogance.

We've all met people who come across as arrogant. They seem to put themselves upon a mighty pedestal, high above the rest of us. In the music industry, they are called the Egos. Too many times we see artist call themselves stars or divas, forgetting that their talents are a gift and a blessing, forgetting what it's like to be humble. Sometimes we see preachers of large congregations begin to put their name on everything above the church, boasting their reflection on how they got this church where it is today, forgetting their humble service to God. Sometimes we see those who are wealthy, thinking they are in a higher class, forgetting that money is only money, and the Lord gives and He takes away.

But arrogance doesn't only apply to those who have their heads in the clouds. Those of us who find ourselves inpatient, standing in line at the check out counter, driving in traffic, or eating at a restaurant, expecting to have things done now, can be guilty as well. We start letting in the notion that the world revolves around us. Before we know it, arrogance begins to show it's ugly head.

We've been taught that patience is a virtue and that if we humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord, He will lift us up, but too many times we lift ourselves up instead.

I'm not saying we shouldn't have a good and positive outlook on life and our self worth. I'm saying we have to keep it in balance. Balance seems to be one of the key elements of life and one of the hardest things to accomplish.

So for me and my epiphany, I now have a better understanding of those times when the anger and frustration creeps up on me. I need to take a moment to look around, to see that the rush of the situation isn't as urgent as I think it is. I need to be aware of the ones around me and realize in every situation, there is a lesson learned. I need to let go of my Arrogance......and humble myself.....and turn that moment of anger into joy.


and the Journey Continues......

Straddling The Fence

I've had this conversation a lot lately.....with myself.

When we keep our feet in two different worlds, straddling the fence as it were, what does that tell us about who we are. The reason I've questioned this......
I realize that we are all human and that our triumphs as well as our misgivings make us who we are. But when we keep one foot in one world and one foot in another, we find ourselves following two different paths, two different journeys, and a lot of times, two different philosophies of life.

Take the physical and the spiritual for example. When we have one foot in the world, we adhere to the ways of the world. Our language, our thoughts, our actions, all reflect the world around us. When we have one foot in the spiritual, we know the warmth of God's love and guidance and can express that relationship to others freely. But what happens when we continue to straddle the fence.

Again, I know we are all human, including myself. I know how easy it is to flow with the world around us, as well as flow with the guidance of the spirit. I've always heard that our actions speak louder than words, but what happens when our words speak louder than our actions.

Maybe I should clarify what brought me to this conversation. Not meaning to be judgmental....maybe just observing, I've noticed over and over the post on different profile pages that seem to conflict with themselves. One moment I see scriptures being quoted and words of inspiration being shared. The next moment, I see the carnal side with cursing and sexual connotations being shared as well.

So why do I let this bother me.....and should I. Not knowing the heart of those I seem to be judging, is it just that.....judging. But seeing it happen over and over makes me wonder. Can we live in the ways of the world and still be a shinning light to our relationship with God. Can we praise one minute and curse the next. Should we just accept that as being human.

I know life is complex and complicated. I know that we are constantly torn between the physical and the spiritual. But if we are presenting ourselves to the world spiritually, what damage are we doing by presenting our worldly side as well.

In my own words and actions, I find myself straddling that fence way too often, thus the struggle of this conversation. Who am I to be telling others they need to get off the fence and go one way or the other. Should I get over it and say, live your life the way you feel is right. Or should I be concerned at the way we show our character in black and white or in total contradiction. Should I be concerned the way some show their love of God one moment and their hatred and anger the next.....I don't know.

Will I continue having this conversation with myself......or just let it go.

I know all we can do is live life the best we can and pray that others will find their place in this world. Pray that we all will realize that sometimes our words do speak louder than our actions and that straddling the fence can only lead us down two different path of conflict, paths that never seem to find their true purpose, that never find their full potential. Pray that we all will find the way to plant our feet on solid ground, with one goal and one direction and find that place of peace and fulfillment.


and the Journey Continues.....

Living In The Moment

We talk often about living in the moment, stopping to smell the flowers and taking time to enjoy the view. It all boils down to making each and every moment special, each minute count for something and every action working for the good.

I've been blessed....and maybe cursed with a mind that's always ten steps ahead of where I am right now. Always calculating, always working on future projects, always putting things in perspective and always planning ahead.

I tend to have so much on my mind, most of the time, that I speed through life like a whirlwind, missing out on so much of the simple pleasures around me. When I'm driving, or eating, or exercising, my thoughts are always in the future. It's as though I have the need to get everything organized way in advance. And because of that, I'm missing out on the here and now.


There is a new method, a philosophy, a way of thinking that deals with living life.
Mindfulness.....being in the moment...
It's a thought process where we become more aware of our surroundings, our physical touch and our senses.
Taking the time to become aware....

Whether were sitting at  desk, driving in traffic, or eating, it's a process of seeing and feeling what's around us. Feeling our feet on the floor, the fabric of our jeans on our legs, the touch of the steering wheel, the taste of the coffee. By starting off with the little things, we can go to observing our surroundings. The traffic around us, the person sitting across the counter in a restaurant, or the sounds of the birds, the wind blowing or the cat purring beside us.

We live in such a fast paced world of technology and multitasking, we've forgotten how to enjoy the simple things in life. And I, for one, have slipped into that same mindset.

Mindfulness seems to have come out of that hectic way of life. Where we are going through the motions. Where life seems to go by in a blink. That life where days and months, holidays and birthdays, weekends and vacations speed by in a flash.

So is mindfulness the answer......

I don't know, but I do know that if we don't start taking more time to live in the moment, we will wonder where the years went. We'll wonder how we got there with so much time wasted and not enough time lived.

If we can start being more aware of our surroundings and allow ourselves to start living in the present, we will find ourselves heading in the right direction.

My mindset of worrying so much about the future, to the point I don't enjoy the now, is a habit that has been picked up by repeating itself over and over. Sure we have to plan ahead and planning for the future is a good thing, but, if we become so obsessed with making the future perfect and not leaving room for a different outcome, we've missed the point of life. Life is a Journey, and if it doesn't happen the way we planned....... that's OK. It's all part of that Journey.

So stop right now, feel your feet planted on the floor, the feel of your back against the chair, listen to the sounds around you. Become aware. Live life. And with each moment, realize that each breath can give us a glimpse of the life that God intended for us to live.

and the Journey Continues.......

Growing Old With Grace

Working out at the gym this week, I noticed an older gentlemen walking by me. He was thin and a bit frail. He had a head full of white hair and a beard to match. As I watched him, the question came to mind....will this be me in a few years?

Growing old is a fact of life but it still has a way of sneaking up on us. It's become more obvious the last couple of years as I've reconnected with friends from High School and College on Facebook. When I see their name, I get a mental picture of what they looked like back then. Then looking at their photos, the reality sets in that the years have caught up with us somewhat.

I am one that probably won't grow old gracefully. In my head, I still feel young and alive.....most of the time. But my body tells me a whole different story. They say we are only as old as we feel. I guess it depends on how old we feel, by what day it is.

Watching my parents, as their age began to catch up with them, they felt they could still do anything in their minds, but their bodies weren't on the same page. I remember having a conversation with my Mom. As she struggled physically and mentally, she asked me what happened. How did they end up like this. All I could think of to say was, Mama.......your body has just gotten old. Probably not the most encouraging words, but the only answer I had.

When I look in the mirror, I see my age creeping up. The receding hairline, the ears and nose getting bigger, the grey, the wrinkles.....and the list goes on. I catch myself bumping into things more and more, banging my arms, or my head, or my toes. Having to carry reading glasses everywhere, then forgetting where I put them. Looking for something all over the house, then seeing it's been right in front of me all along. Forgetting why I went into a room as my mind is not as sharp as it used to be.

So off to the gym I go to help the body. I read every night to help the mind. I go through the day with a youthful attitude. I try to live for today and make plans for the future. I try not to use the words, I'm getting old. I try to live life to the fullest.

Do I always succeed.....no. Do I keep on keeping on.....yes. Am I growing old gracefully.....probably not.
But I've learned that growing old is a gift. The last 18 years have been a gift. Everyday I wake up is a gift. Even though some days my body screams at me, I won't give up. Even though my mind wants to draw me to a dark place, I keep seeking the light.

Will I be that older gentlemen in the gym someday, I hope so.


and the Journey Continues......